Watched October 15, 2012
1983
Starring Jo-Ann Robinson, Richard Hench, Roger Maycock, Frank McDonald, Carol Sue Flockhart, Barbara Magnusson and Kirk Alyn.
Ugg... This movie seemed somewhat promising when I randomly came across in on Netflix, but I was very disappointed. I did really like all the ladies outfits, but that is rarely enough to keep a movie interesting.
It begins with old archeology Professor Machen (Kirk Alyn) getting called out that he hasn't tagged any of the artifacts that he was supposed and the deadline is coming up a in few days. He lets his six students know that he can't go on their archeology trip to the ancient Indian burial ground, but he allows them go on their own. The Professor gives the kids a weird old map of that he bought off someone to guide them to the right area. The most weirdly enthusiastic of the bunch is DJ (Jo-Ann Robinson) who is carrying around two wooden sticks that she constantly hitting together for some reason. Ellen (Barbara Magnusson) calls it quickly by telling DJ that she's weird. They all pile in an old station wagon and are their way. We see tons of footage of them driving until their car starts to overheat. They stop at a gas station and an old Indian man warns them not to take any artifacts from the ancient Indian massacre site their headed to. They don't heed his warning and keep driving forever until they find the spot on the map that they're looking for. DJ begins to get visions of horrible things that will happen but she can't really decipher what they mean, so she just keeps clacking her sticks together.
They brought lots of gear for their camping trip but no one seemed to bring appropriate hiking attire. The ladies are wearing dress boots and shorts and carrying tote bags while the guys are just in tennis shoes. They wander around for awhile until they find the right spot to start digging. DJ warns them that they shouldn't be digging up any of this stuff. Randy (Richard Hench) finds a necklace while they're digging and puts it on. That night Randy and Ellen go to make out, but she's not into it so Randy, taken over by the spirit of Black Claw, violently rapes her. Ellen tries to run away but then she is killed and scalped by Randy/Black Claw. Randy goes back to the camp and everyone wants to know where Ellen is. They find her body and Randy says she must of fallen off a cliff. Randy/Black Claw continues to kill all of the other characters. Randy/Black Claw is then shot by Kershaw (Roger Maycock) killing Randy and releasing the spirit of Black Claw. Black Claw then inhabits DJ and she kills Kershaw. At the last minute Professor Machen comes to check on them and is killed by DJ.
It just isn't a very fun movie, even with the kill scenes. They couldn't figure out a good way to shoot at night so it goes back and forth between day shots shot to look like night and very dark shots really shot at night. This makes the timeline confusing to what day it is. All the build up to the kill scenes is dull and doesn't make a ton of sense. I didn't really care about any of the characters, so when they died it wasn't a big deal. Plus they were warned multiple times not to mess with this area, but they did it anyway and they all ended up dead.
Watched October 1, 2012
1988
Starring Grant Cramer, Suzanne Snyder, John Allen Nelson and John Vernon.
This was my first time watching this movie, which I know is a bit of a shocker since it's such a cult classic. I'm not actually afraid of clowns, but I'm not really into them either. Even though I've looked at the cover of the VHS a million times over the years I never picked it up.
It begins at make out point, where we meet Debbie (Suzanne Snyder) and Mike (Grant Cramer) who are drinking wine and laying in a blow up raft. They see a shooting star land that appears to have landed close to them so they naturally go check it out. Instead of a flaming meteorite, they find a giant circus tent where the meteor landed. They walk inside the tent and check it out and it's a fun house circus of sorts but they don't see any clowns. They find a room full of cotton candy and it all seems harmless until they rip open a cotton candy sack to find a dead human. The clowns show up and Debbie and Mike just barely make it out of the circus tent alive.
Debbie and Mike head to the police department to get Dave (John Allen Nelson), an officer and Debbie's former boyfriend. Dave reluctantly decides to check out the crazy story that Debbie and Mike tell him about killer clowns, but they have to dump Debbie back at home first. Since she's a girl she can't go check out supposed killer clown happenings.
While Mike and Dave are back trying to find the circus tent, the clowns descend on the town. They use all sorts of goofy ways to lure people to their death. They show up with pizza at the door and then kill a lingerie clad lady. One of the best kills are a clown that confronts a bunch of bikers and then punches head right off of a biker dude. Another is a clown that is making shadow puppets for a group of people at a bus stop and he create a shadow dinosaur that actually swallows all the people. There is also a great almost miss where a clown is hanging outside of a Chuck-E-Cheese type establishment trying to lure a little girl. The girl is sitting by two very terrible moms who obviously hate being parents, we think they are so distracted they don't see the little girl walking outside, but at the last minute her mom catches her, and saves her from certain death.
Mike shows Dave where they first saw the tent, but the tent has disappeared so Dave doesn't believe the story. They go back to make-out point and all the cars are still there but no one is around. Dave checks in a car and finds a cotton candy residue. Dave now believes that something crazy is happening. Dave heads back to the sheriff department where his crotchety old partner has been killed by a clown. Through happenstance Dave figures out the only way to kill the clowns is to shoot them in the nose.
Debbie is still at her house taking a shower for a good portion of the movie. Once she gets out of the shower, popcorn that the clowns had shot at her turns into snake clowns that try to eat her. A bunch of clowns have descended on her house and capture her in a balloon instead of immediately killing her. Luckily Mike and Dave and two ice cream truck idiots see this happen and try to chase her down. It turns out that the clowns had relocated their tent to the amusement park which is where they take Debbie.
The showdown occurs in the circus tent, where they find the balloon that Debbie is trapped in. The ice cream truck idiots find two clown ladies to make out with. Mike and Dave try to fight the clowns but then the mega monster clown shows up while the circus tent is trying to take off. Mike and Debbie make it out alive, but it seems like Dave is trapped trying to fight the clown monster. The circus tent space ship explodes and it seems like Dave didn't make it, but he pops out at the last minute. It ends with pies being thrown in our heroes faces.
I enjoyed this movie, it's fun and silly. None of the kills are very scary but for all the goofy clown business all the actors took their roles seriously. The clown costumes and make up are awesome, I think it still stands up 25 years later. The comic relief of the idiot ice cream truck dudes is pretty terrible and I'm someone that loves bad puns, but they aren't in the movie too much so it's alright.
