In Your Wildest Dreams

Watched February 3, 2023

1991

Director: Bruce Neibaur

Starring: Trevor Black, Lise Wilburn, Sarah Schaub

I had some Feature Films for Families as a kid, I think gifted by my religious aunt. I recall liking the Buttercream Gang but I couldn't tell you anything about it now. In Your Wildest Dreams is a FFF so I was a little concerned on it being too family friendly. The VHS cover I have is playing on Short Circuit but the robot isn't in it much, so no Johnny 5 energy.

Mark (Trevor Black) is a high school senior who's applied to Princeton but is waiting for his letter. His girlfriend Holly (Lise Wilburn) answers phones at her dad's company, Bank's Electronics. The very beginning is Holly's dad putting the AI robot in a car. Then Katey (Sarah Schaub), Mark's kid sister, is at the controls telling the robot what to do while driving the car. There is some funding needing, so some stock thing is mentioned, this will come into play later.

Mark, Holly and Katey go to lunch at a diner where all the business people eat. Katey asks Mark to check the change from their receipt. It's over so Mark takes it back, showing that he's a good kid. Justin (Brett Palmer) is a sleezy Wall St. (Gordon Gekko type) who it trying to make some insider trading deal with Banks stock and he's eating at the same diner. Mark has a scooter, Holly has a car and they babysit Katey a lot.

Mark's dad is an accountant who Justin owes money/taxes. At Mark's school, a woman from the SEC gives a presentation on insider trading. Then the class has to do a pretend stock investment assignment with $25k to see who can make the most with their stock pick. One computer is connected to the internet. Mark and his friends think they're pretend buying Bank's stock but it turns out to be real. Mark used his money market college savings account to buy the stock.

 Mark gets his Princeton acceptance letter and the family celebrates, it seems like a dream sequence, but it's real. Mark suddenly seems unsure because Holly's dad wants Mark to work for him and take night classes at the community college instead of going to Princeton. Mark's middle sister hints that Holly's making him change his mind about Princeton.

Meanwhile Justin gets mad at his accomplice because they discussed slowly buying Bank's stock and they don't know that it was Mark who bought the stocks. Mark buying that much stock puts a freeze on the stock. Mark and his friend talk to his stock savvy dad but there's nothing they can do, like try to un-buy the stock. The next day Banks announces the AI robot technology, the stock is for sale again and Mark makes a ton of money selling some of the stock.

Mark, Holly, Katey and middle sister go to pick up the middle sister's new boyfriend Enzo, he's a rollerblading punk and they're mildly shocked but they don't say anything. They go to a local amusement park.

When the money comes in from the stock sale, Mark buys a Ferrari and motorcycle for his dad, a faux fur coat for his mom, a stereo for his middle sister and a big play set for Katey. 

It turns out that Holly's dad needed the money from the IPO, this isn't how stocks work. But they keep putting it on Mark that it's his fault for buying the publicly traded stock. Holly wants Mark to give it back (that's not how stocks work...so?) Justin tries to trick Mark into trading the stock for Justin's abandoned warehouse he owns. Justin has two accomplices who try to muscle Mark but Katey stowed away and honks the horn, this distracts everyone. Mark steals Justin's phone, they have a chase around the empty building. Katey almost pushes a button letting a girder crush Justin's Ferrari. But the FEC lady stops Mark, the accomplice was an informant. They caught Justin, and Mark's a good kid. When he bought the stock Mark messed up their plan to catch Justin, but they got him after all.

Later, Mark listens to Katey and a friend fight about doing what's right. Mark gives the stock paper to Holly's dad. The End.

I've watched so many annoying kids in movies in was nice to see that Katey was not a super bratty kid even when she saves the day. Punk Enzo was the best secret rollerblading park of the moves and according to IMDB that dude is a Hollywood writer and show runner now. I didn't want Mark to get screwed over, I cared. Great ladies business power suits. Not enough robots. It wasn't clear on how why Holly's dad need the stock back, when the company was public and anyone could have bought the stock and sold it. I don't get it, publicly traded companies makes money when they do an IPO. It's not about robots, but it's family friendly fine.

Chopping Mall

Watched April 27, 2016

1986

Starring: Kelli Maroney, Barbara Crampton, Tony O'Dell, Rick Stanton

This was a happy rewatch for me. My friend Benji has been into 1980s mall and gang culture lately, and he hadn't seen Chopping Mall, so I shared it with the group. I wonder how much after hours security was a problem for malls, but this mall takes it very seriously. 

At an after hours mall meeting with the managers and owners of the shops, the security team unveils their latest technology, robots. The robots move around on tank treads and have tasers to stop criminals before they tie them up alert the police. Mary Woronov and Paul Bartell have cameos at the mall meeting as some store owners, it's a great tip off that this is going to be a fun movie. 

Alison (Kelli Maroney) works at the mall restaurant with Suzie (Barbara Crampton). Suzie sets up Alison with Ferdy(Tony O'Dell) on a date to a party at the furniture store inside the mall. It's mostly a make out party, with 4 couples total, which seems a little intense for a first date when everyone around you is having sex. The mall is closed and all the couples are either making out or having sex, except for Alison and Ferdy who are watching a sci-fi movie, but they are hitting it off.

A lightning storm hits the mall security room and zaps the four security robots, turning them into kill-bots.  The robots leave the security office to patrol the empty mall. First they kill a janitor who is just doing his job cleaning the mall. 

Beefcake Mike leaves the furniture store to do something by the pay phones, he's getting something for his bitchy girlfriend Leslie. He is stabbed by the security bots. I think the robots kill the human operator of the security room, so the override system doesn't seem to be an option. Leslie's head gets blown off when she leaves the furniture store to try to find Mike.

Now the remaining couples know something is going really wrong. Down to six, from the original eight they all try to just get out of the exit doors but the whole mall is completely locked up. The guys are girls split up, with the guys breaking into the sporting goods store to get guns. The girls go to the auto body store and make Molotov cocktails out of paint thinner. 

Suzie is killed by a robot igniting her own Molotov cocktail. They do manage to take out two robots. Greg, Suzie boyfriend is devastated by her death, so he helps set up a trap for the robot on the elevator, it doesn't work the first time but they get it to work the second time. They decide to get to the control center to try to shut down the robots from there. Greg is killed by being thrown off the third floor by the robots. The remaining four (Ferdy, Alison, Rick and Linda) head to the department store. They try to confuse the robots with mannequins, which does work. One of the robots is blinded by it's own laser ricocheting off something. But Linda is still killed by the blinded robot. Rick drives a golf cart into a robot and the electrical field kills him. It seems like Ferdy is dead after an encounter with robot. Alison goes to the paint store and empties tons of paint and paint thinner cans onto the ground. The robot gets stuck in the pain and then explodes when the paint thinner ignites. Ferdy is alive after all, he and Alison walk out of the mall together.

This movie is super fun, Alison is great plucky heroine. The kill-bots are awesome, great deaths and it all takes place in an awesome '80s mall with a killer synth soundtrack.

Space Truckers

Watched November 12, 2014

1996
Starring: Dennis Hopper, Debi Mazar, Stephen Dorff.

Holy moly, this movie was so much more than I expected. The image on the VHS box makes it look like a serious space action movie, but it's much funnier and brighter than I expected.

John Canyon (Dennis Hopper) is a long haul space trucker with a load of pigs that he is taking to Interpork to sell. Keller (George Wendt) as the buyer from Interpork tries to gets the pigs for less than the agreed price. John won't sell, so he keeps the cargo and heads to find another job. He takes on a very strange job, supposedly it's a lot of sex dolls but the security surrounding the shipment is very high. The shipment is headed for Earth and needs to arrive on a specific date. John's pig cargo is suddenly stolen, so he's extra motivated to take on the new job. Before leaving he heads to the diner to check in with Cindy (Debi Mazar) his waitress friend. More than friends, he wants to marry her even though they have quite an age difference. While eating his diner and explaining what happening with his Interpork sale, Mike (Stephen Dorff) introduces himself to John. Out of the window they see that John's pig cargo is being stolen. A fight breaks out in the diner over the pig cargo, a window is shot creating a space vacuum that Keller is sucked into space through. John, Cindy and Mike all head to John's rig escape. Cindy wanted to come all along because her mom is back on Earth about to have an operation.

The cops keep following the crew, so they get off the space highway to escape. They run into black rock meteors that damage the ship/truck.  While stopped the ship gets super hot so Mike and Cindy take off all their clothes and make out while John goes to fix the ship. The ship is damaged near the cargo connection and the cargo is protected by lasers so Dennis can't fix it. Luckily a giant cargo ship shows up and takes them aboard. 

The group thinks that they've been rescued but they have been kidnapped. The captain of the pirate ship is half robot with a claw hand, peg leg, half a skull and one cyborg eye. He is immediately drawn to Cindy, but wants to kill John and Mike. Cindy volunteers to have sex with the Captain so he won't kill her friends. He tries to have sex with her with his robot penis even though he has a hard time getting it started. Before he can make the moves, she pulls out some of his fluid tubes and escapes. She finds John and Mike tied up and tries to free them but the robot Captain finds all of them.  The pirates try to steal the cargo, but this activates the cargo which aren't sex dolls instead they are killer cyborgs. The cyborgs kill a bunch of the pirates and in the frenzy John, Mike and Cindy escape in the rig. 

Somehow the ship got fixed, but the cargo cyborgs are still active. John and Mike put on space suits and go take care of them.  They are close enough to Earth that they head through the atmosphere which burns up the remaining cyborg killers. They all manage to make it to Earth alive in escape pods.

It turns out the president wanted the cyborg shipment to use as his army, it turns out he just took over from the previous president only a week ago. The President tries to pay John off at the hospital where Debi's very youthful mom is waking up from her operation. Instead Mike throws the suitcase of money out the window, it lands on the president's car and blows him up. Mike and Cindy are now in love and John is totally into Cindy's mom who has been frozen for twenty years so she looks great.

The effects are great, lots of miniatures and weird CGI. Since I'm a sucker for bright colors, everyone has crazy costumes that I love. Cindy wears some crazy high waisted pants with a clear plastic jacket and it looks great. Much more fun than I expected, I'm glad I picked up this fun straight to video movie. 

Deadly Friend

Watched August 28, 2012

1986

Starring Matthew Labyorteaux, Kristy Swanson, Michael Sharrett, and Anne Ramsey.

I had previously seen the epic scene where robot Kristy Swanson throws a ball at Anne Ramsey's head and it explodes, then decapitated Anne Ramsey's body still walks around the room for a minute before dying. That scene is super amazing, so I figured why not watch the whole movie. 

Paul (Matthew Labyorteaux) and his mom move into a new neighborhood. There is no mention to what the deal is with Paul's dad, but whatever the reason he's not around. Paul is a friendless genius who is working on a project at the University. He has a bright yellow robot buddy named BB, I'm not sure if he built BB, but I assume he did. BB doesn't have a synth-y awesome robot voice, he has a creepy gremlin voice that he mumbles half words with, mostly just saying his name. For the first time Paul finds a friend in his neighbor Sam (Kristy Swanson). But Sam has a big secret, her dad beats the crap out of her regularly. 

While playing basketball, their ball falls into the yard of their neighbor Elvira (Anne Ramsey). They try to get it, and Elvira pulls a gun on them because she hates visitors and anyone trying to get into her locked yard. On Halloween, they decide to get their basketball back.  BB figures out the combo to the lock on the fence and they break in.  Elvira hear them, grabs her gun and shoots BB a million times with a shotgun destroying it. Paul is very distraught about losing his robot friend. I don't understand why he just can't rebuild BB. Paul and him mom have Sam over for dinner.  Paul walks her home and kisses her. Once at home, Sam's dad freaks out and pushes her down the stairs and she breaks her neck. Paul is again devastated, he has just lost his robot and now his girlfriend is brain dead at the hospital. 

At the University he has been doing some tests on brain reanimation. Paul thinks that he can bring Sam back to life. So Paul and his other friend Tom (Michael Sharrett) drug his mom so they can sneak off to the hospital. Paul and Tom break into the hospital and steal Sam's body just as she is being taken off life support. Paul puts BB's chip into Sam's head and she comes back to life. Sam comes back as half Sam and half BB, but she can't talk so she appears to be mostly robot.  Paul is mainly just trying to hide her from everyone because I don't think he really thought this whole thing through. BB had some rage issues so Sam pretty much immediately kills her dad. Sam lures him down to the basement with a bottle of booze and then pushes him into the furnace. Paul finds this out and hides the body of the dad in a coal bin. 

I can't figure out why Paul doesn't try to make out with Sam. Why bring back your girlfriend if she can't talk and you're not going to try to have sex with her. Sam continues on her killing rampage and destroys Elvira with a basketball in the best scene of the movie.  Elvira had called the cops before she was killed, they show up and try to catch Sam.  Sam tries to run away while switching back and forth between BB and Sam modes. Her voice comes back but it's really BB's voice so all she can say is BB, which is pretty great.  Paul shows up just in time to watch Sam get shot. You think that this is the end but Paul tries again to bring her back and the final scene is Sam killing Paul. Good riddance in my opinion, Paul was pretty much the worst. He brought Sam back from the dead and didn't even try to explain what was happening to her. He just hid her in the garage or the attic.

The end credits run with a song that is just the voice of BB saying BB in different ways, it's pretty amazing. I did enjoy this movie, the basketball scene alone makes it worth it. I don't really feel for Paul that much, I was more bummed about Sam's situation with being a reanimated robot girl who was murdered by her abusive father.

Class of 1999

Watched August 7, 2012

1990
Starring: Bradley Gregg, Traci Lind, Malcolm McDowell, Stacy Keach and yet again, that little gross out Joshua John Miller.

I was in high school in 1999 and boy it would have been a lot cooler and more fashionable if it looked like this. This movie takes place in a 1999 of the future. A section of Seattle has gotten so out of control that it's declared a free weapon zone where there are no police, like Escape from New York, except it's not a prison. All the kids still have to go to school. Principal Langford (Malcolm McDowell) has hired Dr. Forrest (Stacy Keach) and his kill-bot cyborgs to be retrained as teachers.  That's how out of control these kids are, they need really tough robots to keep them hitting the books. Cody (Bradley Gregg) has just gotten out of jail and is heading back to school. He is part of the Blackhearts gang, who all have adorable black hearts  tattooed  on their bodies. He's trying to be good to stay in school, because if he acts out or starts fights it's back to jail with him. The future drug of choice is "edge", which is snorted up the nose. I love weird future drugs, especially the "mist" in Prayer of the Rollerboys.

The robot teachers  (Pam Grier, Patrick Kilpatrick, John P. Ryan) begin by doing a fair job of keeping the kids in line. But it doesn't take long for their soldier programming to override their teaching abilities and they start being the crap out of the kids, including Cody.  No one believes Cody when he says that he was beaten by a teacher and that he saw one of them snap the neck of a student.  Cody's love interest is Christine (Traci Lind) who also happens to be the daughter of the principal. He begins investigating the teacher and he takes her along to the house where all the teachers live. Christine is clued into something being off when she discovers that Pam Grier only has a bra with no matching underwear. She concludes that only robots would have mismatched undergarments.

The robo-teachers are so bent on messing with the kids that they set up the two gangs to have a big shoot out. They're also convinced that Cody is the lead troublemaker, so they're really just trying to kill him.  After the gang battle, Cody manages to convince the head of the rival gang the Razorheads that the teachers are robo-soldiers trying to kill them all. They head to to school where the teachers show their true robot abilities by having flamer throwers, guns and claws for hands.  Principal Langford tries to stop Dr. Forrest since he controls the robo-teachers but Dr. Forrest is just a greedy capitalist who wants to make money by selling his robo-teachers to all the schools in the country (I think?) Cody and Christine manage to destroy the robots and escape the burning rubble of their school to fight another day.

The biggest fault for me with this movie, even though it was very enjoyable, is that if these kids hate school so much why do they go? Kids drop out of school all the time. I have the same issue with Class of 1984, but I have to say I enjoyed this movie much more than Class of 1984. The fashions are fantastic. I think the main gang attire of the Blackhearts are pink flowing scarves. So if nothing else it's fun to see the crazy outfits that are supposed to look tough, including tie-dyed leggings. This movie is very much a rip off of The Terminator,  Escape from New York and a little Rock 'n' Roll High School but that doesn't make it any less fun to watch.