Watched March 17, 2023
2011
Start with a golden retriever dog running around a park with a large pond in the center, no sound. The dog's inner monologue says he's got to find some girls. People try to play with him. He's disappointed when a woman he sees starts kissing her boyfriend. He goes to an enclosed rock pond part that bubbles with magic and it tells him he must find his true love to break the curse.
Lisa (Jana Camp) and her friend Paula (Femi Emiola) are sunbathing at the park. Lisa is a virgin who is very particular about who she dates. The dog sees them in the park. The dog gets dirty and stops Lisa at the gas station, she lets the dog into her green VW new beetle. Lisa wears green and her apartment is green. She brings the dog in and gives him a bath. Luckily she was still wearing her bathing suit from the park. The dog's inner monologue is quippy.
Lisa works at a retail store. A lady is trying on a dress that's too small for her and Lisa's boss tries to help. A guy, Kyle asks Lisa out. Lisa has a bad weave and looks pretty sick. Not that long after another guy pretends to be buying clothes for his wife but they're for Lisa. Lisa's mom lives far away but is worried about Lisa being single. The nosy neighbor friend who's color is Orange! brings the presents from the customer and says he's a friend/cousin/neighbor and that's why Lisa should go on a date with him.
I think we see Lisa on a Kyle date. Then Lisa goes on a date with blue shirt and his overbearing mother. After eating dinner they go back to her house and she grills Lisa. The mother says her son, blue shirt, has a 10 year old son who is super smart and will be president. No more kids allowed in this relationship so Lisa needs to get her tubes tied. The mom is an OB/GYN so it's no big deal.
Lisa goes home and gets a call from Kyle to come over. She first has to clean up her house. He comes over, proposed but then admits he's gay and it would be a beard marriage. He just needs a son to appease his traditional family. None of Lisa's relationships are working.
By now Lisa has adopted the dog and named him Prince.
Lisa's boss then comes over and tries to sexually assault her. Prince saves her, the boss fires her and leaves. She is distraught, takes a sleeping pill and then takes too many. She passes out, Prince lies in the street, someone stops and follows Prince to call 911 for her. She goes to the hospital.
She says no more men, just me and prince. It's raining, she throws out her umbrella, it's supposed to get blown away. The rain is either digital or a sprinkler. She finds Prince and he brings her the umbrella. She says she loves him. He becomes a man! Lisa faints but Prince (Aneese Khamo) convinces her he is her dog. They make out and have weird foreplay back at her apartment. In the morning he's a dog again.
Dog Prince goes to the pond who tells him he's just using Lisa and that's why he's not a man during the day, but she's having fun. They get pretend married at their house and take photos. Lisa doesn't tell her friend Paula about Prince being a man. Her mom comes to visit and forces a dinner with Prince, who at some point says his human name is Alvin Flang. It's a weird dinner because Prince doesn't have a job. Lisa's dad abandoned her pregnant mom when they went to get the marriage license. Mom and orange neighbor pressure Lisa and Prince to meet the next morning to get a marriage license, but Prince is still a dog during the day so...he doesn't show up.
Prince does gets a
dog acting job so he's making money. There is also a part where the neighbor orange lady catches Prince in the early morning turning into a dog, but doesn't totally see the transformation so she doesn't have real proof. There is a new job lunch too where
Prince can be human in the shadows on a cloudy day, but then turns into
a dog in the pool.
At some point, Paula comes over because her car broke down right by Lisa's apartment. Lisa hides Prince, it's night so he's a man, but Paula finds him and is mad because Lisa was all high and mighty about her virginity. Friendship over.
Lisa needs Prince to be human all the time. Prince hints he could kill himself and start over as a man. Prince runs away to figure it out but Lisa misses him. As she runs to meet him the dog is hit by a car and dies.
Sometime later. It's gotta be like 25-30 years. Lisa puts her apartment up for rent. Paula shows up with four school age kids. Lisa and Paula reconnect, those kids are Paula's grand kids! It seems unlikely because the age makeup is terrible. Lisa shows Paula the album of her "marriage" to Prince. Good set dog photos. Paula leaves and Prince in a wig shows up and they remember each other. Prince is young as he was reincarnated when the dog body died, but Lisa is now supposedly 65? Slowly Prince gets gray streaks in his hair. He's been a dog trainer this time. Lisa and Prince/Alvin Flang get married at night alone and they become young again together. The End.
This movie is a total mess but just casually looking at imdb it looks like the director made it in her 70's, which is very inspiring. I've also heard since this is a student film there is a version with background music that helps stitch together some of the scenes. I watched it for free on youtube, so you get what you get.
This has been making the rounds on bad movie sites/blogs/podcasts etc. so it was fun to see what everyone was talking about.
