The Lair of the White Worm

Watched July 28, 2013

1988
Starring: Hugh Grant, Amanda Donohoe, Catherine Oxenberg, Peter Capaldi.

The most exciting part of this movie, to me, was that since it wasn't completely a horror movie I didn't really know what to expect. Boy, I didn't know what I was in for at all.

Angus (Peter Capaldi) is an anthropology grad student who is working on his thesis by digging a hole near Eve's (Catherine Oxenberg) family bed and breakfast. He uncovers a weird looking skull and that kicks off the strange happenings. Angus and Eve go to a party thrown by Lord James D'Hampton (Hugh Grant) where they celebrate his family slaying the white worm back in medieval times. Upon the unearthing of the skull, Lady Sylvia Marsh (Amanda Donohoe) returns to her estate unexpectedly.

Lady Sylvia is a nutjob. She hears about the skull so she enters Eve's bed and breakfast and steals it. She also lures a teenage hitchhiker to her mansion, where they play snakes and ladders. She then bites him and drowns him in her hot tub. She is a crazy snake lady. I guess her snake powers work like vampirism, if she bites you and you don't die, you turn in to a snake person.

Meanwhile, Angus is trying to find out more information about the skull. It also turns out the Eve's dad disappeared near a cave entrance that may have been where the white worm was slain. Angus and Lord D'Hampton begin exploring the cave.

Eve's sister, Mary (Sammi Davis) begins to have these super crazy visions when she looks at a crucifix. She sees Jesus on the cross with a snake surrounding him, then a bunch of nuns are raped, it's nuts. Mary is then kidnapped by Lady Sylvia as a sacrifice to the white worm. It turns out that Lady Sylvia is a follower of the white worm, a pagan god that was shunned when Christ came on the scene. 

It all culminates at the cave, where Lady Sylvia has tied up Mary and is going to penetrate her with a wooden dildo then give her to the worm. The worm is real after all! Luckily Angus and Eve manage to save Mary and Lady Silvia is eaten by the worm.

The year that this movie takes place in is a mystery, all their clothes seem 1980's modern, but they all drive cars from the 1930's-40's. But maybe that's just what the English countryside is like. I didn't put it together until I was writing this up that the director Ken Russell also made super weird freak out movies like Tommy and Altered States, so I shouldn't have been so surprised when this movie turned out to be super weird.

Just as a note: It was Angela's favorite movie that we've watched since she started watching movies with us.