Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Neon Maniacs

Watched August 4, 2013

Starring: Clyde Hayes, Leilani Sarelle, Donna Locke.

I just recently walked over the Golden Gate Bridge for the first time this summer, it was quite an experience, but I never knew about the horror lurking at the base of the bridge...until now. Little did I know that there are a bunch of mutant freaks, all with different signature characteristics, that come out at night and attack people. They drag their victims back to their lair where I assume they eat them.

Natalie (Leilani Sarelle) is just your typical teen out for a fun time with friends in San Francisco. What does that mean? Well, piling in a van and going to the park where everyone pairs off to make out. The neon maniacs show up and kill all of Natalie's friends, she barely manages to survive by staying in the van. By they way, these maniacs don't wear neon clothes, nor do they glow neon, but their blood is neon green, so that's where they get their name. The cops find Natalie in the van, she tells her story but they don't believe her. She heads home, her parents are conveniently in Europe. To de-stress after watching all her friends die she takes a dip in her pool, she falls asleep and is woken up by a blood rain, no, that was just a dream.

At school, no one believes Natalie's story, and they're pissed that their friends haven't reappeared. Steven (Clyde Hayes) has had a crush on Natalie for a long time and uses this opportunity to make a move, and surprisingly it pays off. Meanwhile, junior monster hunter Paula ( Donna Locke) is hounding Natalie for more information about the monsters. Paula has a video camera so she goes down to the bridge and finds the monsters, she tapes them but when she gets home the tape is blurry. 

Since Paula was around the monsters they got clued on to her scent and they track her down at her home. She eludes one of them and pushes it in the shower where she figures out that water destroys them. Paula lets the police know that she's seen the same monsters that Natalie saw but they still don't believe the monsters exist. 

Now it's time for the battle of the band costume party and Steven's band is playing. Everyone dresses up super awesome except for Natalie and Steven. Paula arms them all with squirt guns to protect from the monsters. Steven's band is Rick Springfield lite and they compete against a bunch of 40 year old in a hair metal band. Soon enough the maniacs show up and start dragging teens away. It takes Paula, Steven and Natalie awhile to get their squirt guns, but they do take out a couple of the maniacs.

Now that even more teens are head the police assemble a special squad to investigate under the Golden Gate Bridge. They don't find anything, but they don't really look that hard. The chief is the last guy looking around when he's attacked. It ends with Paula, Natalie and Steven in his car driving off, it's really unsatisfying.

While the ending was strange there is a lot of great stuff happening in this movie. Paula has a super nerdy friend who tips her off to monster happenings who is eating C-3PO's cereal, he's also wearing a may the force be with you shirt later on. Paula is just a super cute girl, too bad the actress didn't make any other movies. One of the maniacs is a snake cyclops and is super cool looking. I recommend this silly fun movie.

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