Wednesday, July 1, 2015

A Gnome named Gnorm

Watched June 11, 2015

Starring: Anthony Michael Hall, Claudia Christian, Jerry Orbach

I've had this movie for a couple years and I keep bringing it to movie night but due to an aversion to family friendly fare it has never been picked. I took one for the team and watched it by myself, which I'm sure made it a little less enjoyable then it could have been as a shared experience, but it wasn't that great anyway. 

Casey (Anthony Michael Hall) is somehow a rookie detective on the police force even though he looks to be about 18 years old at best. He somehow is in a relationship with fellow detective Sam (Claudia Christian) even though they don't have any chemistry. Casey has been on a case trying to nail some diamond thieves and a complicated sting has been set up in a park. There is supposed to be a mole that will take the hand off with the bad guy. Casey is there to arrest them. Somehow an explosion goes off that knocks Casey unconscious before he can catch the bad guy. Sam was waiting in the car and by the time they got over their the bad guy was gone. Casey wakes up and is fine but is convinced that there is a witness in the empty park. He finds a leather bag with a strange stone in it. He heads home but is followed by a curious little guy. Gnorm the Gnome reveals himself to Casey because he wants his bag back, it contains his lumen stone.  Casey traps Gnorm in a cage, and is happy to have a witness even if no one will believe what he has. Gnorm has a special ability to make people fall asleep, so he escapes the cage and tries to get his lumen stone back. Casey convinces Gnorm to help his solve his case by finding the bag guy. 

Sam wants to help Casey even though the chief of police, Stan (Jerry Orbach) doesn't think Casey is competent. Casey and Gnorm cruise through town trying to track down the bag guy, Gnorm can speak some English and does remember some events from that night. Casey disguises Gnorm as a little kid and they cruise the boardwalk. Gnorm is pretty into butts, it is a strange sexual tone for a kids movie.

They do keep getting closer to catching the bad guy. Gnorm is eventually taken into the police station and strip searched, so you get to see some bare gnome butt. Casey keeps figuring out the clues and it turns out that it was Stan that set up the whole thing because he has it in for Casey. After a shoot out they manage to capture Stan. Casey helps Gnorm get some sun for him lumen to take back to his people so he can be the hero.

Super weird tone for a kids movie. Gnorm is very weird looking. Not partiuclary funny, even though Gnorm bites a bad guys butt and there are several nut shots.  He pronounced it G-Nome and G-Norm Whenever Gnorm is walking around looking cool his theme is Lowrider. Mostly just weird, I wouldn't want to watch it again.

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