Wednesday, January 27, 2016


Watched November 10, 2015

Starring: Dee Wallace, M. Emmet Walsh, Scott Grimes, Nadine Van der Velde

Outer Space
A bunch of Krites escape a prison asteroid on a stolen space ship. The alien warden of the jail hires two faceless bounty hunters to capture them, as the Krites are very dangerous. It is determined that Earth is the only habitable planet around so the Krites must be headed there.

Grover's Bend, Kansas
The Brown family live on a small farm. The teen sister, April (Nadine Van de Velde) is into making out with her latest boyfriend Steve (Billy Zane) and teasing her younger brother Brad (Scott Grimes). Brad likes making explosives. Later that afternoon, hanging out with the local drunken weirdo, Brad gets in trouble for using a slingshot to hit a rock at April, even though it was a accident. Because of this he doesn't get dinner and is confined to his room. April bring Steve over for dinner, then they go make out in the barn. 

The critters do crash land on Earth and are looking for something to eat. They first mutilate a cow, that Brad and his dad, Jay (Billy Green Bush) find. Back at the house, they hear something moving around in the cellar. Jay goes to check it out and it attacked by some of the Critters. The Critter can shoot paralyzing spikes, which is really cool. Since they are pretty small, this is a great attack for them to take down larger prey. The Critters already attacked some local cops in town and they torn up the phone lines so the Brown family are stranded on their farm.

April and Steve are attacked in the barn by a critter, Steve is killed but April is saved by Brad. The space bounty hunters show up, one of them has taken the face of Johnny Steele, a famous rock singer. The other bounty hunter doesn't pick a permanent face, instead keeps taking faces of random people they run into. Once the bounty hunter lands, they find the cop the critters killed and take his car. They don't know how to drive so they run into the church. When they don't get any information about the critters, they shoot up the place. They go to the bowling alley but don't get a lot of information and shoot it up too.

Once the bounty hunters get to the farm house they start blasting critters until only a couple are left. One of the Critters grew to be very large and takes April back to its space ship. I'm assuming at some point they found time to fix the ship. Brad manages to get April out of the ship and leaves an explosive, but he can't light it in time. The town drunk makes a molotov cocktail and throws it in to the Critters space ship as it is taking off. As the Critters are flying away they blow up the Brown's home with laser blasts. But not too long after the molotov cocktail explodes and the Critters are blow up.

The bounty hunters give Brad a special medallion thing when they leave the planet. Brad touches the medallion, it glows and the Brown's house comes back together as if it was never blow up in the first place. You think the critters are gone but they left a couple eggs in the Brown barn to set up Critters 2.

I'm sure it's all about perspective when you watch a lot of bad movie and moderately fine movie will seem like the best movie ever. I really liked Critters, it was super fun. It had some excellent humor element and the Critters were both cute and a little scary. They also did funny things like push the kid's bike over randomly. This is a great combination of light horror and comedy. There are a lot of sequels that I'm not totally sure I'm ready for, but this is a fun one on its own.

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