Thursday, March 6, 2014

The Horrible Dr. Bones

Watched February 21, 2014

Starring: Darrow Igus, Larry Bates, Sarah Scott Davis, Danny Wooten

We are introduced to Dr. Bones (Darrow Igus) a record producer, when his assistant brings a singer to audition for him. When Dr. Bones plays his intended backing track, the guy's head explodes. Dr. Bones discovers that to fulfill his intended plan he need to find a really great live group. He holds open auditions where he meets Urban Protectors, a hot R&B band with a really sexy lead singer Lisa (Sarah Scott Davis). Urban Protectors have their own sound guy, Jamal (Larry Bates) who Dr. Bones and his assistant instantly dislike. Dr. Bones loves the Urban Protectors unique sound so he signs them right away. Jamal is a little wary but still supportive of his group. 

Dr. Bones wants the Urban Protectors to play a live show to show off their talents, or so they think. It turns out that Dr. Bones has a crazy spell that he wants to cast to take over the world. He can hide the spell in music but when he tried recorded sound that guy's head exploded. They play the show and the spell works, it gives Dr. Bones control over everyone. Jamal knows something is up so he heads to the basement where he finds Dr. Bones working his spell. He also finds a aquarium that is empty except for a bunch of hearts on stands. Jamal grabs one of the hearts, squeezing it and he watches one of Dr. Bones minions fall down dead. Jamal manages to shake the band out of their stupor and convince them Dr. Bones is bad news. All the hearts are destroyed and Dr. Bones is pushed into a power convertor and destroyed...or so we think!

The effects are pretty terrible, there are a lot of rubber 3D hearts being tossed around. It's a short movie at about 73 minutes but it feels much longer which isn't a good sign.
This is a Full Moon production, so I knew I was in for some direct to video, low budget storytelling. Before the movie even began we got to see a trailer for Ragdoll, an advertisement for the Ragdoll doll,  and an for the soundtrack to Ragdoll. Then we got to see an ad for the soundtrack to The Horrible Dr. Bones, all before the movie started. I don't want any of those products but it did make me check out the Full Moon site and you can subscribe to their streaming service and watch all their terrible movies, I'm genuinely tempted.

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