Traxx

Watched October 13, 2014

1988
Starring: Shadoe Stevens, Priscilla Barnes, Willard E. Pugh

When I first read the summary on the back of the VHS box I wasn't sure what to think of this movie. It describes Traxx, a disgruntled cop turned mercenary who just does wants to make cookies. I was pleasantly surprised at how this movie takes everything to the max and injects a lot of weird humor into a strange story.

Traxx (Shadoe Stevens) is a cop who gets fed up with the criminals he's catching just ending up back on the street to commit more crimes. He starts taking jobs around the world as a mercenary where he can just kill everyone. He does this for a while but is still dissatisfied, he really wants to start a cookie bakery. He finds a little shack outside of Hadleyville, Texas to begin working on his cookie recipes. Too bad he's a terrible baker, he doesn't know how to put anything together, and he doesn't seem to know how to use an existing recipe. He is evicted from his place and starts looking for work. 

Hadleyville is in the middle of a crime wave, there is rampant prostitution, muggings and drug use is off the charts. The local sheriff has heard of Traxx and hires him to clean up the town. By clean up the town, he gets to shoot anyone he sees committing a crime. Traxx goes on his own spree of gunning down anyone who looks remotely suspicious. He meets Deeter (Willard E. Pugh) running away from some thugs. Deeter teams up with Traxx, so he can get his protection. Traxx is currently homeless since he was kicked out of his rental house so they end up camping near a lake. Traxx continues to try new cookie recipes over the camp stove, but he doesn't seem to get any better.

Traxx is doing a good job cleaning up the town, but the main crime boss Aldo Palucci (Robert Davi) doesn't like it. Aldo gathers his group of crime lords and they decide to hire the Guzik brothers, who are known for their ability to go crazy and take down any enemy, to destroy Traxx.  The Guziks come up from Mexico and the first thing they do is kidnap a whole little league team. They tie the team to their car and head downtown. Luckily, Traxx is ready to take them down in tons of explosions. After the Guziks are taken out, Aldo comes to find Traxx at his camp spot. Trax had just whipped up a batch of Chile Con Cookies, he offers one to Aldo who accepts it. Aldo heads back to his car, rips a big chili cookie fart, then lights his cigar which causes his whole car to explode.

With Aldo out of the picture, the downtown celebrates and throws a big carnival. Traxx has opened his cookie shop, Snaxx by Traxx featuring Puppy Spirals that look like dog shit. I don't know if his cookies are any better, but they townspeople are so grateful they eat them anyway.

There are so many explosions, it's out of control. There is also a great cleaning up the town dance montage. Traxx is a very odd character, it's almost a black comedy because he kills so many people. When they break up the Stud Club, which is a whorehouse not a gay bar, they find a daycare room where there is a nanny taking care of all the working prostitutes kids. It was super fun and crazy, with lots of ridiculous action. A great movie that doesn't take itself seriously which is the only way to enjoy the insanity.