Watched September 14, 2013
1967
Starring: Elizabeth Davis, Gretchen Wells, Chris Martell, Rodney Bedell
As a teen, Blood Feast was one of my favorite horror movies. It's so ridiculous, gory and low-budget. It's so bad that it made me think that anyone could make a movie so I started making my own movies. That included a video project for my drama class called Camp Blood, a mash up of Sleepaway Camp and Blood Feast. It never occurred to me to look up more movies by gore and exploitation master Herschell Gordon Lewis. So I'm starting now with The Gruesome Twosome.
The Gruesome Twosome is awesomely terrible but it delivers everything I'm looking for in a movie. I'm a fan of camp and gore, so it's pretty easy to please me. It begins with two mannequin heads with construction paper faces. They talk to each other about what's gonna happen in the movie, concluding with one of the mannequins being stabbed and having blood squirt out of it's head.
The basic plot is that Mrs. Pringle (Elizabeth Davis) runs a wig shop out of her house with help from her son Rodney (Chris Martell.) They don't just sell wigs, they sell genuine human hair wigs and they get these wigs by scalping young co-eds. Mrs. Pringle lures the girls in with a room for rent sign, then traps them in a room with Rodney where he cuts off their hair and most of their head with it.
Several girls have gone missing so the local college is on alert. Kathy (Gretchen Baker) lives on campus with several other girls and she is curious about the strange disappearances and murders. She thinks she has a lead and calls the police but it's just a strange old man who was bringing some bones to his dog. One of Kathy's roommates wants to move out of the dorms so she hears about a room for rent. She is then captured and her hair is removed. Since Kathy knew what this friend was up to she goes to check out the room for rent and finds Mrs. Pringle. Kathy is stuck in the room with Rodney and about to get it when Kathy's boyfriend and the police show up. They arrest Mrs. Pringle and her son and the wig shop goes out of business.
With the minimal plot there is a lot of filler. One scene has all the girls in their pajamas in their dorm room eating KFC chicken and dancing. They also go to the beach and hang out in bikinis and frolic in the water. There is a fair amount of dialogue re-dubbed and it sounds terrible. I still loved this movie, it's so silly. The acting is terrible and you know what's going to happen, but it's great. The gore is super gross though, Rodney rips out one of the girls guts and it's super disgusting. Even if you still see the actors moving when they're supposed to be dead. All the shots last too long, but it's okay. Since it was made in the '60's all the wigs and hairstyles are big and fun.
Herschell Gordon Lewis is still alive and well, no longer making exploitation movies but instead is a master of direct marketing! Check out his site: herschellgordonlewis.com
Watched August 4, 2013
1986
Starring: Clyde Hayes, Leilani Sarelle, Donna Locke.
I just recently walked over the Golden Gate Bridge for the first time this summer, it was quite an experience, but I never knew about the horror lurking at the base of the bridge...until now. Little did I know that there are a bunch of mutant freaks, all with different signature characteristics, that come out at night and attack people. They drag their victims back to their lair where I assume they eat them.
Natalie (Leilani Sarelle) is just your typical teen out for a fun time with friends in San Francisco. What does that mean? Well, piling in a van and going to the park where everyone pairs off to make out. The neon maniacs show up and kill all of Natalie's friends, she barely manages to survive by staying in the van. By they way, these maniacs don't wear neon clothes, nor do they glow neon, but their blood is neon green, so that's where they get their name. The cops find Natalie in the van, she tells her story but they don't believe her. She heads home, her parents are conveniently in Europe. To de-stress after watching all her friends die she takes a dip in her pool, she falls asleep and is woken up by a blood rain, no, that was just a dream.
At school, no one believes Natalie's story, and they're pissed that their friends haven't reappeared. Steven (Clyde Hayes) has had a crush on Natalie for a long time and uses this opportunity to make a move, and surprisingly it pays off. Meanwhile, junior monster hunter Paula ( Donna Locke) is hounding Natalie for more information about the monsters. Paula has a video camera so she goes down to the bridge and finds the monsters, she tapes them but when she gets home the tape is blurry.
Since Paula was around the monsters they got clued on to her scent and they track her down at her home. She eludes one of them and pushes it in the shower where she figures out that water destroys them. Paula lets the police know that she's seen the same monsters that Natalie saw but they still don't believe the monsters exist.
Now it's time for the battle of the band costume party and Steven's band is playing. Everyone dresses up super awesome except for Natalie and Steven. Paula arms them all with squirt guns to protect from the monsters. Steven's band is Rick Springfield lite and they compete against a bunch of 40 year old in a hair metal band. Soon enough the maniacs show up and start dragging teens away. It takes Paula, Steven and Natalie awhile to get their squirt guns, but they do take out a couple of the maniacs.
Now that even more teens are head the police assemble a special squad to investigate under the Golden Gate Bridge. They don't find anything, but they don't really look that hard. The chief is the last guy looking around when he's attacked. It ends with Paula, Natalie and Steven in his car driving off, it's really unsatisfying.
While the ending was strange there is a lot of great stuff happening in this movie. Paula has a super nerdy friend who tips her off to monster happenings who is eating C-3PO's cereal, he's also wearing a may the force be with you shirt later on. Paula is just a super cute girl, too bad the actress didn't make any other movies. One of the maniacs is a snake cyclops and is super cool looking. I recommend this silly fun movie.
Watched July 31, 2013
1980
Starring: Grant Page, Monique van de Ven, Margaret Gerard, and Sorcery.
We first found out about this movie because the trailer was on the Sweet Sixteen DVD and it looked amazing. We thought the dvd and vhs were out of print; the only copies we found on amazon and ebay were expensive. We did find a place to rent it locally, but then Jen did some real searching and you can buy the DVD for $15 from the band Sorcery's website: http://sorceryrockband.com/stuntrock.htm
I bought the DVD and we had a bonus movie night to experience the magic, but it ended up being a little disappointing.
I'm sure this happens all the time in Hollywood, the behind the scenes creators want to get their moment in the spotlight. Grant Page is a real life stunt man who was most active in the '60's and '70's. Sorcery is a real '70's rock band that incorporated wizards and magic into their live shows. Put them together with no real plot and you've got Stunt Rock!
The thin plot that tries to hold the film together is that Margaret Gerard is a journalist doing a story on people who are so into their jobs that it kills them. She meets up with Grant Page as he is escaping from the hospital after being slightly injured doing a stunt. She begins to interview him about his job. This means that we get to see lots of memory flashbacks of Grant's famous stunts from other movies he's done. The stunts are great, but they choose to show them in strange split screen montages. Grant happens to be friends with Sorcery, so we get to see them play every night. The first time we see Sorcery it's great, the wizard makes fireworks appear and does magic tricks. By the third concert I was pretty done with Sorcery. That's about it for the plot. Grant does more stunts and asks Margaret out on a date while he is holding on to a rope strung between buildings. Some stunts are explained, which is cool. If you already love Sorcery's music this is like a really fun concert movie, but as a regular film it doesn't come together.
This reminded me of The Wizard of Speed and Time, which is about a special effects guy. I'm sure it must be tough to be the person that makes all the movie magic happen and not get recognized like actors do, but that's just the way it currently goes.
If anything, I would say watch the trailer, it sums up the movie and shows the greatest parts while being the correct length for the subject matter.
Watched July 28, 2013
1988
Starring: Hugh Grant, Amanda Donohoe, Catherine Oxenberg, Peter Capaldi.
The most exciting part of this movie, to me, was that since it wasn't completely a horror movie I didn't really know what to expect. Boy, I didn't know what I was in for at all.
Angus (Peter Capaldi) is an anthropology grad student who is working on his thesis by digging a hole near Eve's (Catherine Oxenberg) family bed and breakfast. He uncovers a weird looking skull and that kicks off the strange happenings. Angus and Eve go to a party thrown by Lord James D'Hampton (Hugh Grant) where they celebrate his family slaying the white worm back in medieval times. Upon the unearthing of the skull, Lady Sylvia Marsh (Amanda Donohoe) returns to her estate unexpectedly.
Lady Sylvia is a nutjob. She hears about the skull so she enters Eve's bed and breakfast and steals it. She also lures a teenage hitchhiker to her mansion, where they play snakes and ladders. She then bites him and drowns him in her hot tub. She is a crazy snake lady. I guess her snake powers work like vampirism, if she bites you and you don't die, you turn in to a snake person.
Meanwhile, Angus is trying to find out more information about the skull. It also turns out the Eve's dad disappeared near a cave entrance that may have been where the white worm was slain. Angus and Lord D'Hampton begin exploring the cave.
Eve's sister, Mary (Sammi Davis) begins to have these super crazy visions when she looks at a crucifix. She sees Jesus on the cross with a snake surrounding him, then a bunch of nuns are raped, it's nuts. Mary is then kidnapped by Lady Sylvia as a sacrifice to the white worm. It turns out that Lady Sylvia is a follower of the white worm, a pagan god that was shunned when Christ came on the scene.
It all culminates at the cave, where Lady Sylvia has tied
up Mary and is going to penetrate her with a wooden dildo then give her
to the worm. The worm is real after all! Luckily Angus and Eve manage to
save Mary and Lady Silvia is eaten by the worm.
The year that this movie takes place in is a mystery, all their clothes seem 1980's modern, but they all drive cars from the 1930's-40's. But maybe that's just what the English countryside is like. I didn't put it together until I was writing this up that the director Ken Russell also made super weird freak out movies like Tommy and Altered States, so I shouldn't have been so surprised when this movie turned out to be super weird.
Just as a note: It was Angela's favorite movie that we've watched since she started watching movies with us.
Watched July 21, 2013
1988
Starring: Brendan Hughes, Sydney Walsh, Amanda Wyss, Scott Jacoby.
Basically Dracula in LA. Excellent vampire death scenes with face melts.
The VHS that we watched has some pretty great trailers for movies I had never heard of: Ginger Ale Afternoon and Headhunter, they both look genuinely bad.
Jen and I were talking so much during the beginning, I had to watch it again to check out the plot points that I had missed so this write up wouldn't be a total joke. For some reason based on the cover I thought this was a horror comedy, but now I'm pretty sure I've been looking at so many movie covers I just got mixed it up. This one is the classic Dracula story but set in modern day L.A.
We meet Kate (Sydney Walsh) at a fancy yacht party. She was dragged there by her boyfriend, but she has no interest in him. Instantly, she attracts the eye of Vlad (Brendan Hughes) and they wander off and make out. She agrees to leave with him, which is so unlike her, so she goes to get her coat. When she gets back, he is gone, and she's pissed. There is a guy at the party who was drinking champagne out of his shoe, he also leaves and is in the parking lot doing coke, alone. While Kate is waiting for Vlad to show, a crazy hairy monster that looks more like a lumpy werewolf than a vampire, attacks the coke guy and kills him.
Kate leaves the party sad and alone. When she gets home, her roommate Celia (Amanda Wyss) is waiting with exciting news. Celia just got engaged to her doctor boyfriend!
The next day, Kate wakes and prepares a breakfast of a muffin in a bowl with a packet of sugar on top, drenched in milk. What!? Luckily, she's too busy to eat it and runs out the door to her job as a real estate agent. She just got a new client, who she hasn't met, who wants to see some houses at night. That night it turns out that Vlad is her client. Sydney is extremely attracted to Vlad but won't succumb to him for some reason. Instead Vlad seduces Celia and bites her. Celia's fiancé gets really pissed when he's dumped for no reason. Celia also gets really possessive about Vlad. Some other vampire rival also has it in for Vlad.
There are some vampire bites and stakes in the heart, but it doesn't really matter much. It all wraps up at the end. The vampire melting death scenes are great and they really hold up as awesome special effects. It's shot on video but the production is actually pretty good. It's mediocre but I might give it a second pass at some point.
While looking up more info on this movie I found out that there is a sequel, Son of Darkness: To Die For II. It's about a baby vampire, or that's what I gathered from the wikipedia description. That really surprised me because I couldn't imagine this movie making much money on it's release, but I guess it was cheap to make so it was cheap to make a sequel too.
