Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Terrible Movie Nights Zine Issue 4

The latest issue (#4!) of the Terrible Movie Night zine is now available in the store. Lots of gems like My Demon Lover, Johnny Mnemonic, The Visitor, Cellar Dweller and more are reviewed within. There are even lots more spot illustrations that you can't find on the site, plus I take time to actually edit it so it's not filled with spelling and grammar errors like the blog. Check it out!

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight

 Watched April 27, 2015

Starring: Billy Zane, William Sadler, Jada Pinkett Smith, Brenda Bakke, John Kassir

I like Tales from the Crypt in all its forms from the comics to the HBO show and then the various movies over the years. I very much enjoy the Cryptkeeper's puns, so I was excited to watch this movie.

The Cryptkeeper bookends the movie as he is directing his own horror movie, but it doesn't seem that he is directing the movie we are watching. Well, it wasn't clear at the end even though he did go to the premiere of Demon Knight.

Demon Knight starts with Brayker (William Sadler) being chased by The Collector (Billy Zane). It is unclear who is the good guy initially.  Brayker jumps out of his car to get away the The Collector who crashes his car into the stalled car. They both manage to survive the crash, but the cops show up to investigate. The Collector convinces the cops that Brayker has his property. Brayker makes his way to a rundown motel. He gets a room, but then the cops show up. The Collector wants a special key that Brayker has and it seems like The Collector is the true owner. One of the cop hesitates, so The Collector punches him in the face with his fist going through his head. They struggle and The Collector rips off the cop's head. It's pretty apparent that The Collector is the bad guy. Brayker kicks The Collector out of the house and protects the threshold with blood from the key.

The Collector cuts his hand releasing green blood onto the ground. From the dirt sprouts an army of demons that begin to the attack the house. Brayker quickly runs around trying to seal all the entrances with his magic blood. After a couple of demon attacks, the motel inhabitants check the basement to see if there is a way to escape. They find a boarded off tunnel, but Brayker thinks it's safer to just stay in the motel. All the people want to get out so they run into the tunnels, but the demons are there. They are chased to the upper floor of the motel and manage to create a magical seal, but the demons gather below.

The Collector's powers let him invade the minds of the remaining people in the motel. Roach (Thomas Haden Church) is convinced that if he just gives The Collector they key he will leave. Roach steals the key from Brayker and gives it to The Collector. The Collector instantly kills Roach and part of the seal protecting the upper floor is broken. Before they are attacked Brayker explains that the key holds the blood of Christ and it's one of seven keys. The demons have six of the seven keys, this being the last. Once they have it they can destroy the world, so it's up the Brayker the current Demon Knight to protect it. Brayker has been a Demon Knight for a long time and he was specifically lead to the motel to find Jeryline (Jada Pinkett Smith.) It is coming to the end and Brayker transfers the knowledge of the Knights to Jeryline just before he is attacked by The Collector. 

By this point everyone has been killed by the demons except for Jeryline. She covers herself in the blood from the key so she can't be touched by The Collector. But The Collector grabs her and throws her in the shower, and pours all the blood out of the key. Jeryline takes a swig of the blood and as The Collector dances around killing her she spits the blood in his face and he is destroyed. Jeryline is now the Demon Knight. She refills the key with blood from Brayker, as it's a holy line and heads on her way to keep the key safe.

Billy Zane is the bad guy with lots of charisma.  A little kid who becomes a demon and tries to lick out Brayker's heart. The demons have to be stabbed through the eyes to release their souls. CCH Pounder has her arm ripped off, then sacrifices herself by detonating a vest of grenades to kill a bunch of the demons. Lots of fun and pretty gross.