Poison Ivy

 

Watched August 3, 2025

 

1985

Starring: Michael J. Fox, Nancy McKeon, Cary Guffey,

Director: Larry Elikann

Camp movie! Getting on the train are a bunch of rowdy kids. Dennis (Michael J. Fox) is the cool councilor with all the girlfriends. Ike (Adam Baldwin) is the lead councilor/hard ass. Dennis has a rope tied to a kid Timmy (Cary Guffey) who is a flight risk (the kid from Close Encounters). Dennis kisses a girl then on the train starts hitting on a new girl. Jerry (Joe Wright) is a con kid who fakes the mumps so he can get his own room on the train where he puts on his cool guy gear like a Michael Jackson silver glove and shiny vest. He tries to hit on Irene (Shanna Stewart) from the girls camp. 

 

At camp Pinewood, they have breakfast. Timmy hates everything and keeps trying to run away. The assistant nurse Rhonda (Nancy McKeon) shows up. Freckle faced writer kid Brian (Thomas Nowell) is instantly in love with Rhonda and sends her flowers and a poem, as a secret admirer.

 

Jerry starts having Brian write letters home for other kids, as it's mandatory and everyone hates it. Brian makes the letter, the kids copy it and they pay with their canteen tickets.

 

Dennis lays it on thick to Rhonda, but she's engaged...he still doesn't quit. Jerry becomes an agent for the baseball phenom to play varsity to win the big game.

 

Jerry and fellow campers us the littlest kids to distract the councilors at the water so they can steal a canoe to get to Camp ChickIwanna, the girls camp across the lake. Dennis is already there kissing a councilor. Lots of hard TV cuts. The boys and Dennis escape in the laundry truck, but Timmy gets caught. 

 

Parent's weekend. Nancy's fiancé comes to visit too and is a bore. Dennis borrows sleeping pills from a parent and puts in the  fiancé's burger, he falls asleep. Rhonda does like Dennis and they kiss. 

 

Timmy starts to warm up and his bunk mates teach him how to swim using the bathtub in the camp director's cabin. The director's wife seduces Ike and the boys jump out the window. 

Color war: Gray versus Blue. For some reason, there is a writing portion in the competition, but Brian doesn't like what's he written so they lose that portion. The bunks are split up into the different teams. They add Timmy to their swim relay but Jerry is on the other team and freaks him out and he almost drowns.  Timmy runs away and everyone goes to look for him. On the other side of the lake, they find a weird guy with an ax and what looks like blood splatters, but he's just into making splatter paintings and Timmy is fine.

 

Timmy swims the lake back to prove he can swim!All the bunk mates are friends now!

 

Brian rolls in poison ivy to spend more time with Rhonda.  Rhonda thought for a bit that Dennis was the writer but sees it was Brian.  Everyone is friends, back on the train. Rhonda dumps her boyfriend. Dennis is made assistant direction after he canceled the color war and the wife was into it. 

 

Bland and forgettable, obviously everyone starts out unlikable. On the plus side, no awful slurs with some minor diversity in background players. The cinematography is bad. No wonder no one talks about it. Shooting Georgia for Maine. I watched it in Maine. After I picked this as a bad non-horror movie to watch with folks not interested in horror, I realized that I think I made my husband watch this before, but I remembered nothing.

The Boyfriend School AKA Don't Tell Her It's Me

Watched August 1, 2025

 

1990

Starring: Steve Guttenberg, Jamie Gertz, Shelley Long

Director: Malcolm Mowbray 

 

In South Carolina, Gus (Steve Guttenberg) is a cartoonist recovering from Hodgkin's Lymphoma. According to the movie, he is 'fat', he has lost all his hair; eyebrows and all. Lizzie (Shelley Long), his sister is a romance novelist with a three-year-old daughter, Annabelle nicknamed piglet and a weird husband. Lizzie doesn't want Gus to be single anymore so she starts a plan to set him up now that he's in recovery.

Jamie Gertz is a journalist with an old junker car. She works with Trout (Kyle MacLachlan) at The Grackle newspaper. They were dating but are an on/off seeing other people. At the beginning of the movie she goes on a bad date where the guy doesn't remember her name: Emily.

 It turns out that Emily is sent to do a feature at the romance convention in town. She interviews Lizzie but Lizzie is actually interviewing her for Gus. Lizzie invites Emily and Gus over for dinner. Lizzie and her husband are really into Asian culture- but due to the time its played as a joke. Chinese food is weird and gross, I guess. Gus hasn't regrown his hair, is wearing a bad wig and still looks sick. Emily and Gus don't hit it off, the dinner is weird. The husband serves jellyfish salad and Emily throws up. That's after Annabelle tossed an oil covered bolt on Emily, staining her dress. Lizzie always explains to Annabelle in adult language what would happen to her body when she does something dangerous. But Gus saw Emily in her old timey slip and it's not very scandalous.

Gus tries to call Emily to make a date but she's not interested. Trout gets back together with her sort of.

Lizzie decides she can give Emily the fantasy she desires in Gus so it's makeover time. Gus's hair grows back and he starts working out, jogging while Lizzie rides a scooter beside him.

Once he's got the bod, Gus gets a cool mullet plus Lizzie says he's got to get a new persona. Now he's Lobo Murunga from New Zealand.

At a gas station at night, Emily is pumping gas into her junker when Lobo pulls up on his motorcycle, causing her to overflow the gas. At the counter, she only has $2 but accidentally pumped $20 of gas.She doesn't have a way to pay, but it turns out the counter guy is a robber and the actual shopkeeper is on the floor. Lobo comes in, he wants to be cool but also figures out the robbery. He wants to chicken out but then hits the robber with the coffee pot. Lobo tries to leave but Emily is in love and makes him come home with her. He pretends to pass out but she kisses him. In the morning, he leaves but Costanza's her with his Maori amulet necklace. But his motorcycle is back at the gas station.

Lizzie goes to the gas station to give Lobo back his necklace. Lobo shows up and takes her for a motorcycle ride to a random spot where they dance in a house/event space. Lobo drops her back off at her apartment.

Gus doesn't want to do it anymore but the necklace still hasn't been returned. He gets it from her apartment but then Lizzie makes up an errand to return the books that Lizzie lent her.

Gus's cover is almost blown at Lizzie's house but luckily his niece Piglet doesn't talk much The husband tries to play along too.

Emily does break it off with Trout but he was also seeing another woman from their office ( Madchen Amick) from their office. It  seems like a cut plotline, because it doesn't really matter that Trout is seeing someone else. I guess it's showing he's not a great guy.  Lobo is at her apartment and they make love once she formally ends it with Trout.

The next day Lobo pops out his blue contacts and says he's Gus, Emily rightfully kicks him out. Emily goes to Lizzie to blame her for the plot but Lizzie keeps playing the game she set up saying that everyone is mad at her but Gus is moving to NY. Even though Emily feels betrayed, she's still into Gus/Lobo. Her car barely starts and she makes it over to Gus's waterfront shack, but he's gone. Her car won't start now so she gets on his motorcycle and makes it to the airport. He's in line and they both are both into trying to be together, now that the truth is out. He's not moving to NY, he's just going to a wedding in Tallahassee so she comes too. Lizzie is watching them the whole time and Annabelle is in the car and says a new word.

It's a pretty crazy set up, overall it's fine but the trickster plot is pretty bad. It's a hard concept to just lie to someone about who you are and then have them still want to be with you. Great outfits. Kyle MacLachlan is a good creep and it fun to have two Twin Peaks actors together.

Twin Sitters

 

Watched June 7, 2024

 

1994

Starring: David Paul, Peter Paul, Christian Cousins, Joseph Cousins

Director: John Paragon

 

I stumbled upon the Barbarian Brothers on IMBD looking at some other production. Their movies looked familiar but I didn't think I had actually seen any of them. We watched trailers for Double Trouble and Twin Sitters. Definitely capitalized on Arnold Schwarzenegger's success and bodybuilder/wrestler appeal in the 1980s. All the trailers seemed the same, it's a comedy with action and stunts and breaking though glass tables and going through doors and windows. So we picked Twin Sitters!

 

Peter (Peter Paul) and David (David Paul) work at an Italian restaurant as servers. Paul Bartel is a customer there with his wife. The cook is making gross food but people are eating it. The brother's trip, drop food, don't pick it up an order and they fight in the restaurant then are chased out by the cook with a decorative ax.

 

Dinner at home with mom and dad. The parents are supportive, one of the brothers is a good cook (not Traxx style) and they suggest they should open their own restaurant! Peter and Paul go to the bank the next day to try to get a loan, but they don't have any assets. They bring a bunch of food dishes they made and force feed the loan officer. They are kicked out of the bank!

 

Meanwhile Mr. Hillhurst (Jared Martin) has been using his trucking empire to dump toxic waste from Leland Stromm (George Lazenby) and making lots of money but is ready to quit. Mr. Stromm threatens Mr. Hillhurst's nephews as he is the guardian of them after their parents died.

 

After not getting the loan, the brothers go to the park. Mr. Hillhurst is there taking to government officials about exposing the bad guys. Then three of the bad guys good start shooting at Mr. Hillhurst right by a playground. David and Peter get playground kids to safety and by saving a real baby from getting run over, they're in the newspaper. They go to their gym, where Mr. Hillhurst's butler Thomas tells them he has a job opportunity for them. Mr. Hillhurst had to go testify and wants the David and Peter to watch his twin nephews, Bradley(Christian Cousins) the evil one and Steven (Joseph Cousins.)

 

The twins drive over to their house in their monster truck. Mr. Hillhurst offers them $5K/day for a week to watch and protect the boys. They agree.

 

Bradley and Steven are little troublemakers at first. There is a horny maid and a weird gardener and a sassy Black cook also at the house. But the cooking brother shares a recipe with the cook and they really get along.The boys say they only eat PB and bologna? At the first dinner, Brad dumps the food on the floor and glues one of the Brothers to his chair. The butler, Thomas is working for the bad guys and tells them which hotel Mr. Hillhurst be in, so the bad guys hires an assassin. 

 

Tuesday, the nephews try to electrocute the brothers in the pool but it doesn't work. The nephews continues to not try the food. The boys private tutor, Judy (Rena Sofer) comes and the brothers sit in on the class. The nephews try to run away and steal a car but the brothers are in the back seat. This breaks down the kids hesitance and the boys try the food and get fashion makeovers from David and Peter!

 

 David and Peter together go on a date with the tutor, but they bring the boys in their monster truck bypassing the security around the house by running over a car. 

The sniper can't take out Mr. Hillhurst at his hotel, so the new plan is the kidnap the nephews and hold them ransom until Mr. Hillhurst does what they want. Back at the house, poolside, one kid goes inside and is grabbed, fights back and the second kid goes in the gets grabbed. Brothers come in and everyone is fighting including the cook. The maid and the gardener are making out when a fight crashes through a glass door onto them. The boys are taken away by helicopter, with the Brother holding on until they have to let go and splashdown in the pool. Thomas tries to leave with the bribe money but the brothers call him out and get him to tell them where the boys are being held.

The boys are on a big ship. The brother calls on all their twin friends to help with the rescue, two Black guy fighters, two Asian fighters (gong sound bummer) and more. They get Brad and Steven back but the ship is rigged to blow up, they all jump in the water to escape the explosion.

The kids are safe and Mr. Hillhurst is no longer being extorted to continue working for Mr. Stamm. The Brother open their restaurant and all their twin friends come and eat. Mr. Hillhurst couldn't pay the brothers but are able to open the restaurant using their butter money?

 

It is a great movie, no, but there is a lot of fun stuff like monster trucks, double date with kids and a lady. Oh boy, the outfits! One million stars! Such a special mix of grunge, early 90s streetwear and wrestling/weightlifting fashion!

Airborne

Watched December 9, 2022

1993

Director: Rob Bowman

Starring: Shane McDermott, Seth Green, Jack Black, Edie McClurg, Alana Ubach. 

Mitchell "Goose" Goosen (Shane McDermott) is a laid back So-Cal dude. He rollerblades with his buddy to the beach to go surfing. Then they walk back home carrying their boards and blades. Mitchell comes home to his parents telling him they got a grant to study in Australia for 6 months. He's psyched! Australia's got surfing but he can't miss that much school. So he is sent to his Aunt & Uncle in Cincinnati for the Winter!

Mitchell brings his surfboard for no reason, it really shows how out of his element he is. His cousin Wiley (Seth Green) is a weirdo. Mitchell's California house is modern, whereas the Cincinnati house is grandma cozy vibes. California and Cincinnati couldn't be more different! Goose is set up on a cot in Wiley's basement room that has a hodge podge decor of motorcycle posters, an Eraserhead poster and hair metal bands.

Goose's first class in his temporary new high school is speech where everyone gets up and says their name and deal. Jack Black plays a bully who likes video games. Mitchell is a cool California dude who loves surfing. Wiley pretends to be into hockey, his dad is but he really isn't. Two girls drool over Mitchell and have a fantasy sequence of him sitting in swim trunks. After class, the main hockey dude is mad that his girlfriend is talking to Mitchell. Apparently there is non-school affiliated hockey games with this group playing the preps. Two of their players are out that day, so they force Wiley to play. Wiley gets hurt so Mitchell is brought in. He scores a goal in the wrong net and they are all pissed. Before playing hockey, Mitchell was sitting in the stands and he meets Nikki (Brittney Powell).

 After the ice hockey game went bad,  the hockey bullies play pranks on Mitchell all over school. They soak all the toilet paper while he's pooping, then infer that he didn't wipe and walked around with shit on his butt? They steal his clothes while he showers, but he finds some combination of clothes so he doesn't leave the locker room totally nude. They fill his locker with sand and dump water on him on the stairwell. 

Mitchell is bummed. The weather gets slightly nicer and his rollerblades arrive in the mail, yay! He goes out and runs into Nikki and takes her to a botanical garden greenhouse and skates around her. They makes a date for Friday but Mitchell said that he's hanging out with Wiley. Nikki brings her friend Gloria (Alana Ubach) so they can double date. Fashion montage of Wiley figuring out his look for the night. At first Gloria is not into Wiley. Mitchell and Nikki walk on the riverwalk and kiss then they all go to the teen diner. But the main hockey bully is Nikki's brother and he doesn't want her hanging out with Mitchell. He tries to fight Mitchell but Mitchell is too chill. But Mitchell makes the mistake of saying he'll be leaving town soon so there's nothing keeping him there. This makes Nikki upset and she runs off.

Mitch makes some rollerblading buddies, they skate around town on ramps and stuff. They run into a rematch street hockey game beteween the bullies and the preps. Mitchell ends up pantsing the main prep and you see his ball in his jock strap (?!) After this the bullies come to Wiley's house and tell Mitch how cool he is. They ask if he can help them with the devil's backbone race against the preps. It's a hill to waterfront race where a certain amount of each team needs to get to the finish line to win. The two teams set off down the hill and a bunch of folks eat it. Some preps make it. Mitch falls or something, then jumps off a flatbed truck. Mitchell ends up helping the main bully up and they skate together to the finish line into a huge crowd. Wiley and Gloria kiss and Mitch and Nikki kiss. The End. 

Mitchell has no growth. He doesn't want to go to Cincinnati, he thinks it'll suck and it does. Even with him being chill then doing the Devil's backbone race doesn't change that he'll head back to California at the end of the semester.

 One idea to have some sort of arc is that  Mitchell used to not be chill and get into fights but surfing helps him calm down so when he's prompted to fight he could turn to rollerblading. The other could be having some sort of stakes about staying in Cincinnati, like falling for Nikki makes him was to graduate high school there. His parents should have gotten an grant to study somewhere landlocked not Australia, or any other place not know for surfing, also they have schools in Australia where Mitchell could have gone for a semester.  The rollerblading is whatever, it's too muddled with hockey and surfing. Not X-treme enough either. Mitchell falls flat for me. Also two too many showers scenes.

Ghoulies 3: Ghoulies go to college

Watched May 18, 2016

1991
Starring: Evan MacKenzie, Kevin McCarthy, Eva LaRue, Patrick Labyorteaux

Ghoulies AKA Comic Book Toilet Demons

This falls into the comedy horror camp, except this one is more just T&A as there are supposed deaths but very little blood. So anyone who was killed could in theory still be alive. There are some awesomely terrible puns which I enjoyed such as a young party goer has a deer head fall onto her head and someone says "What is this a Stag party?" Oh yeah, of course she's topless too.

I haven't seen any of the other Ghoulies movies, but boy have I looked at the poster/cover of a bunch of toilet demons many times. This movie takes place 21 years after the first (and second?) At a college where two frats are taking part in Prank Week. They pull pranks on each other all week long until one emerges victorious and gets to wear the official prank hat. Yes, college is dumb.

In the bathroom of the slob frat, Mookey (Patrick Labyorteaux) finds a comic book in the wall. This bathroom is incredibly disgusting, even for frat standards. He starts to read the comic out loud and it begins to summon the ghoulies, but he doesn't finish the incantation, so the Ghoulies remain trapped in the toilet. Mookey takes the comic to his Mythology class, where Professor Ragnar (Kevin McCarthy) finds and confiscates it. Professor Ragnar hate the prank week as he is often the victim. Looking at the comic book, the images remind him of some mythological demons. He finishes reading the comic book aloud and the Ghoulies are summoned. They now only do the bidding of Prof. Ragnar, and he wants the Ghoulies to stop the frats. The Ghoulies: Rat, Cat, and Frog with abs make it to the Slob frat just after they have all left. The Ghoulies fall into a pile of clothes, so now they look just like college students, except they are a tiny Cat, Rat and Frog demons. They get super drunk. Then they really escalate the prank war. They blow up the campus security guard's little truck with him inside.

The side story adding to the frat war is the slob frat member Skip (Evan MacKenzie) used to date Erin (Eva LaRue) but now she is somewhat interested in the Snob frat member Jeremy (John R. Johnston). Erin eventually figures out she wants to be with Skip, but then the Ghoulies kidnap her. Prof. Ragnar goes totally nuts with the Ghoulies power, but Skip saves Erin and banishes the Professor to the toilet. Prof. Ragnar comes back for one last battle with a face on his stomach, he is  now the super ghoulie depicted in the comic. But Skip throws the comic into the toilet and that destroys the demon Professor.

Lots of boobs, some weird goofy deaths like a lady taking a plunger to the face. It's not great, but I've seen far worse. Still pretty enjoyable considering I haven't seen any of the previous toilet demon movies.

Munchie

Watched January 12, 2016

1992
Starring: Loni Anderson, Andrew Stevens, Jamie McEnnan, Jennifer Love Hewitt

I'm sure I said this when I watched Nukie, but I have a hard time with kid's creature movies, especially the really bad ones. Even while making fun of them I find little to enjoy because it has to be family friendly.

This is a super weird sequel to Munchies, a movie I haven't seen but seems like a Gremlins rip off. The original munchies don't seem to look like the Munchie in this movie, so a fair amount of artistic license seems to have been taken. This is such a weird kids movie

In the 1970s, a man throws Munchie locked in a trunk down a bottomless pit, I guess Munchie is the worst. Jump to the early 1990s, Gage (Jamie McEnnan) is a strange little kid, with an active imagination but not many friends. His mom (Loni Anderson) is dating a guy he hates, Dr. Elliot Carlisle (Andrew Stevens.) So Gage is having a rough time of life, he does have one friend Professor Cruikshank (Arte Johnson) who seems to be an archeologist. Since Gage doesn't have friends, he spends a lot of time alone, while wandering around he finds an abandoned mine. There he finds a locked trunk and out pops Munchie! (Voiced by Don Delouise!)

Munchie is instantly Gage's friend and he tries to help Gage make more friends. Munchie has some random weird powers, like the ability to make a pizza fly from the shop to Gage's room. Munchie embarasses Gage's principal, I guess because the principal has been hard on Gage. After some other random events, Munchie throws a party for Gage. Gage is about 10 years old, but this party would have been more appropriate for a teen or older because the only kid that is invited is Gage's crush Andrea (Jennifer Love Hewitt.) Everyone else at the party is an adult, some are dressed in costumes, but there is a keg of beer and a live band. Gage's mom comes back early from her date with Dr. Carlisle to find the party. Dr. Carlisle discovers Munchie and wants to do experiments on him. Gage gets Professor Cruikshank and together the save Munchie from Dr. Carlisle, then Munchie decides to join Prof. Cruikshank on his next archeological adventure. 

To be honest I couldn't remember most of the plot, so I had to look up some other people's summaries to jog my memory. It all just seemed like a blur of Munchie changing outfits and making life terrible for Gage. I don't see why is Loni Anderson appealing as the mom, the future step dad, Dr. Carlisle is the worst too. The motors that work Munchie's face don't seem to work, he should have been a puppet that actually looked like he's talking instead of crazy servos going nuts. Munchie is pretty hard to look at and unbearable as a character, he doesn't seem to help Gage at all, and Gage is pretty unappealing too. But I guess they made a sequel to this sequel, which I will not be watching.

C.H.U.D.II Bud the Chud

Watched September 1, 2015

1989
Starring: Brian Robbins, Bill Calvert, Tricia Leigh Fisher, Robert Vaughn

Having little to do with the first C.H.U.D. movie, this one tries the horror comedy approach to a sequel.

Colonel Masters (Robert Vaughn) is heading up a secret program to create C.H.U.D.'s as soldiers, but they can't seem to remove the cannibal part from their test subject, Bud. Bud (Gerrit Graham) tries to escape from the medical facility where they are testing on him. The soldiers and scientists freeze him with Nitroglycerin, essentially killing him. 

Meanwhile two teen friends, Steve (Brian Robbins) and Kevin (Bill Calvert) are in their high school biology class. After class ends they are in the back room of the lab putting frogs away when the corpse they are supposed to look out later is pushed out of the loading dock and rolls awat. They are worried they'll get in trouble for losing the body, so they go to the local disease control lab, which happens to be the same place that the military is testing C.H.U.D.s. They end up stealing Bud the C.H.U.D. They take him back to Steve's house and he ends up in the bathtub, then a hairdryer falls in the electrocutes him back to life. Steve and Kevin lock Bud in the basement to figure out what to do next. Bud easily escapes and bites Steve's miniature poodle. This turns the poodle into a C.H.U.D. too. I guess C.H.U.D.-ism is similar to how zombies become infected, in that everyone that is bit turns into a C.H.U.D. and can infect other people.

Steve and Kevin team up with their gal pal Katie (Tricia Leigh Fisher) to look for Bud. General Master is also looking for the C.H.U.D. Bud makes a bunch of friends and ends up on a farm, the government also finds Steve, Kevin and Katie there and try to arrest them. The C.H.U.D. group manages to escape.

 For some reason, the military know the C.H.U.D.s are attracted to large groups and there is a Halloween Dance at the high school that night. The C.H.U.D.s now have a whole posse and they all head down to the High school, synchronized dancing along the way. Steve and Kevin figure out that if you freeze then electrocute the C.H.U.D.'s you can cause them to explode, destroying them. Bud is attracted to Katie so she lures him and the the rest of the C.H.U.D.'s to the high school pool. They all fall/jump in, then Steven and Kevin throw nitroglycerin into the pool. Steve and Kevin rip and electrical line off the wall and throw it into the pool, causing all the C.H.U.D.'s explode, but not before Steve is bitten. All the C.H.U.D.'s are destroyed, Kevin finally tells Katie that he likes her romantically. Steve, now a C.H.U.D. tells his friends that he is off to explore the world. He hitches a ride with Colonal Masters, now a C.H.U.D. alond with a random woman played by Bianca Jagger.

The custom song Bud the C.H.U.D. is pretty great and plays often. I had some fun watching this movie, but that doesn't mean it's good. The makeup for all the C.H.U.D.'s is just some green face paint for the most part. The original C.H.U.D.'s were real mutants that looked pretty gross. Most of the laughs in this one fall pretty flat, but I did like all the great costumes at the high school Halloween Dance.

Ed and His Dead Mother

Watched June 15, 2015

1993
Starring: Steve Buscemi, Ned Beatty, Miriam Margolyes, John Glover

Ed (Steve Buscemi) runs a hardware store that his parent's established before they died. His mother passed about a year ago but he can't seem to get over the loss. He shares the same house that he grew up in with his Uncle Benny (Ned Beatty). A mysterious salesman, Mr. Pattle (John Glover) comes to the hardware store and tells Ed he can bring his mom back for $1000. Ed agrees, but when the Mr. Pattle digs up the mom, her corpse is in terrible shape so it costs a little more to find some replacement organs. Eventually she makes it back to the house and it seems like she is just as she was.

Uncle Benny, who is Ed's mom's brother is upset about this resurrection because he disliked her meddling. Ed's mother doesn't act exactly the same, she now sits in the fridge at times, which is strange. After a day she passes out and is dead again. Mr. Pattle comes back and says for some more money he can tell Ed how to keep giving more life to his mom, so she'll stay alive. Steve agrees and now he has to feed his mom two live cockroaches a day. Somehow the mom eats too many cockroaches and is filled with a renewed lust for life. She starts chasing down the neighbor's dog to eat it, to get more life energy inside her.

Meanwhile, Ed's new neighbor Storm (Sam Sorbo) is aggressively trying to seduce him for no real reason. This leads Ed to be distracted from keeping his blood thirsty mom inside the house. Ed's mom is visited by a disgruntled former employee of the hardware store. Ed's mom treats him cordially, offering him tea, then killing him with a chainsaw. 

Ed goes back to Mr. Prattle, who's job it is to just milk all the life insurance money that Ed received, didn't want the mom to become homicidal. Mr. Prattle tells Ed that for $50,000 he can share the secret of how to get rid of the mother permanently. The instructions are this: Ed has to chop off her head and bury it in the certain part of the cemetery, then bury her body in another part, and he has to do it at a certain time of night. 

After her first human kill, Ed's mom goes to the hardware store and gets a large riding lawnmower to attack her next victim. Her next victim happens to be Storm, but Ed shows up in time to chop off his mom's head. He does manage to bury her head, but just as he is getting the body from the car, the cops show up for a separate incident in the church yard.

Steve ends up going to trial for the murder of his mother, even though he just had to kill her again to stop her from murdering more people. The film is bookended by a black and white sequence of the Ed at the trial for his mother's murder. It seems like the whole thing must have been a dream, but in the end it's not and he is acquitted for killing him mom. Storm turns out to have been hired by the same company as Mr. Prattle to make sure that they got the money out of Ed. After Ed's mom goes nut, Storm quits her job and falls in love with Ed for real.

A very interesting dark comedy. Steve's motivations are so hard to determine because we don't meet his mother until she comes back. A year is a long time to sit in the ground and then come back to life. You have to suspend your disbelief to get into the story. They do a good job of answering some obvious questions that would have been plot holes in other movies. Such as why a super sexy neighbor lady would want to seduce Ed, and the answer is that it was her job.

A Gnome named Gnorm

Watched June 11, 2015

1990
Starring: Anthony Michael Hall, Claudia Christian, Jerry Orbach

I've had this movie for a couple years and I keep bringing it to movie night but due to an aversion to family friendly fare it has never been picked. I took one for the team and watched it by myself, which I'm sure made it a little less enjoyable then it could have been as a shared experience, but it wasn't that great anyway. 

Casey (Anthony Michael Hall) is somehow a rookie detective on the police force even though he looks to be about 18 years old at best. He somehow is in a relationship with fellow detective Sam (Claudia Christian) even though they don't have any chemistry. Casey has been on a case trying to nail some diamond thieves and a complicated sting has been set up in a park. There is supposed to be a mole that will take the hand off with the bad guy. Casey is there to arrest them. Somehow an explosion goes off that knocks Casey unconscious before he can catch the bad guy. Sam was waiting in the car and by the time they got over their the bad guy was gone. Casey wakes up and is fine but is convinced that there is a witness in the empty park. He finds a leather bag with a strange stone in it. He heads home but is followed by a curious little guy. Gnorm the Gnome reveals himself to Casey because he wants his bag back, it contains his lumen stone.  Casey traps Gnorm in a cage, and is happy to have a witness even if no one will believe what he has. Gnorm has a special ability to make people fall asleep, so he escapes the cage and tries to get his lumen stone back. Casey convinces Gnorm to help his solve his case by finding the bag guy. 

Sam wants to help Casey even though the chief of police, Stan (Jerry Orbach) doesn't think Casey is competent. Casey and Gnorm cruise through town trying to track down the bag guy, Gnorm can speak some English and does remember some events from that night. Casey disguises Gnorm as a little kid and they cruise the boardwalk. Gnorm is pretty into butts, it is a strange sexual tone for a kids movie.

They do keep getting closer to catching the bad guy. Gnorm is eventually taken into the police station and strip searched, so you get to see some bare gnome butt. Casey keeps figuring out the clues and it turns out that it was Stan that set up the whole thing because he has it in for Casey. After a shoot out they manage to capture Stan. Casey helps Gnorm get some sun for him lumen to take back to his people so he can be the hero.

Super weird tone for a kids movie. Gnorm is very weird looking. Not partiuclary funny, even though Gnorm bites a bad guys butt and there are several nut shots.  He pronounced it G-Nome and G-Norm Whenever Gnorm is walking around looking cool his theme is Lowrider. Mostly just weird, I wouldn't want to watch it again.

Soulkeeper

Watched April 6, 2015

2001
Starring: Rodney Rowland, Kevin Patrick Walls, Brad Dourif, Tommy 'Tiny' Lister.

Yet another movie with a lenticular VHS box cover that has been passed over for months. I finally got it back on the list and somehow it was picked. I had low expectations and unexpectedly they paid off.

A mysterious group wearing dark robes in engaged in a secret ceremony. They are trying to transfer a soul into a specific body. A member of the group is randomly chosen and is pushed onto the altar where a special stone is placed on his chest. The stone is carved with a symbol that beings to move and change. The soul power descends into the sacrifice but it kills him and all the participants of the ritual.

Corey (Rodney Rowland) and Terrence (Kevin Patrick Walls) are two small time thieves. They are at a museum of the civil war during a battle reenactment. They are both dressed as Abraham Lincoln, Corey is reciting a speech to distract the tour group while Terrence tries to break into a case. They botch the job and are chased out of the museum with the guard hot on their trail. 

At their local watering hole, they are bemoaning their loss and how terrible they are at their job. Two attractive ladies are staring them down, so they go over to try to hit on them. The women are very robotic and strange, but the guys don't care and they follow the ladies to a strange house. The women disappear as Corey and Terrence enter the house. Inside they find Pascal (Brad Dourif) who wants them to do a job for him. He tells them to go to a graveyard and find a specific coffin. They take the job as it pays pretty well, but the specifics of their task are unclear.

In the spooky cemetery they find the right grave and open the tomb of FF. Inside is a skeleton but there is a strange metal canister in its neck. They open the canister to find a bunch of newspaper clippings. They take these clippings to Chad (Tommy 'Tiny' Lister) who has a perfect penis (!?) and a bunch of computers to try to figure out what the clippings mean.

The next stop is a sex club. Everyone in the club looks very uncomfortable, they are all rubbing each other and eating different fruits that turns to blood. Corey finds a lady he likes and they go have sex in a private room. Terrence ends up with a curly haired brunette who turns into Deborah Gibson while going down on him, then into his mother. He freaks out, finds Corey and they run away. They run into the soul sucking monster called Magus but manage to escape.

Continuing their search for who knows what exactly, they enter a cave and find that FF has been soul incarnated as a 12-year-old boy surrounded by hot chicks. The boy tries to explain the cult, the demon and how souls figure into it, but it's still unclear. The boy gives them some groovy clothes, as they had to walk through a sewer to find the cave. He leads them out of the cave.

 Now they have on cool '70s bell bottoms, but they still don't know what they're looking for, or I just never knew. They run into another mysterious guys who explains what needs to happen next. He lets them know about the soul stone and the demon that is trying to possess it. He tells them that the Magus monster is attracted to sin, so they have to go to church to confess all their sins and boy do they have a lot. After they are cleaned from their sins they can sneak up on the monster. They suit up in some crazy gear and head to the castle where a new group of cult members is trying to resurrect the stone's power. They make it to the castle but Corey's use the lord's name in vain, so the monster comes after them. The cult member's use Corey's body in the soul ceremony, but it doesn't work because he channeled his soul power himself. They fight with the cult guys and get out of the castle to fight the monster one on one. Terrence jumps on the monster and uses his bomb to blow them both up, only Corey escapes alive.

During the movie Corey described his dream woman: red hair, glasses, big boobs, smart but really into cars. At a gas station where his bus stops Corey is buying something when his dream woman walks in. Her wigs is really fake, but through some happenstance she offers him a ride in her sports car, so off they ride to fall in love.

I enjoyed it! The comedy bits worked, which is rare in a horror comedy. A lot of stuff didn't make sense but it was still silly and fun.

My Demon Lover

Watched July 28, 2014

1987
Starring: Scott Valentine, Michelle Little, Gina Gallego, Robert Trebor

We were all a little wary when this made its way to the front of the queue, as the demon based romantic comedy is hard to pull off. But I figured that a guy that turns into a demon whenever he is turned on has got to be at least a little fun.

We first meet Kaz (Scott Valentine) as he is busking in a New York subway car playing his saxophone terribly. He looks as sounds crazy so everyone is trying to get away from him. He gets near a busty lady and transforms into his demon version.

Denny (Michelle Little) is walking home from grocery shopping when she sees a bunch of guys putting her TV and blender into their van. It turns out that her boyfriend is stealing all her stuff, he tells her off and steps on her pie before driving away. Denny's friend Sonia (Gina Gallego) comes over to comfort her and it is established that Denny has a history of dating deadbeat guys. Denny wants to change this pattern. While eating at a local health food cafe, Kaz jumps out of a pile of trash bags and tries to eat Denny's burger. She takes pity on him and lets him take a bite of her burger, but he spits it out onto her skirt, because it's not meat it's a veggie and fruit burger. Denny takes of for her apartment, but Kaz follows her. She is really trying to stick to her plan of not dating any more losers, but something about Kaz just gets to her. Maybe it's how dirty and crazy he is. He tells her he doesn't have a place to stay so she allows him to sleep on her couch.

The next day they make a pact to be friends and there is a montage of them doing all sorts of friend activities around New York. It doesn't take Denny that long to want to go further with their friendship, but while making out Kaz reveals his demon self. He tells her the story of when he was a teenager he was making out with a Gypsy's daughter, when the gypsy walked in and cursed him. She cursed him with a petrotsky demon. That means whenever he is aroused it opens the gate for a demon to take him over, so he can't really enjoy sex.

Meanwhile there is a maniac that keeps attacking women in the street. It seems like it might be Kaz when he takes his demon form, since he doesn't always remember what he did as a demon. Sonia runs an occult store and is a little psychic and she gets a vision that Kaz is the killer so she tries to take him out. Sonia happened to be coming from a singles bar where so often goes, while running out she grabs Phil, the local loser who can't seem to get a date. It is quickly revealed that Phil is the killer that has been attacking ladies, he grabs Denny and takes her to Belvedere Castle in Central Park. He needs to kill her to reveal his demon, or something like that. Kaz is fast on the trail, but the castle is barricaded. Sonia makes out with Kaz to reveal a demon that has tiny wings so he can save Denny. Kaz and Phil have a big fight over the castle, ultimately Phil is destroyed and Kaz takes a hit that rids him of his demons. Denny and Kaz head back to her apartment to have some demon free sex.

"Let's go take a shower, Fruit Burger" is what Kaz says to Denny once he is rid of his demons.

Denny wears some great late '80s outfits but my favorite by far was pink tights, yellow socks, sneakers, mini skirt black with bright fish, bone earrings, shirt/jacket with Scottie dogs and a fire hydrant. When Kaz turns into a demon in front of Denny and changes, she fights those demons. One of them is a old lady, when Denny punches her in the face the old demons head explodes with mustard goo. I really liked that when Kaz's condition was explained to a new person, they instantly said "oh a petrotsky demon," like it was a totally common thing. Horror comedy rarely works for me, but this was pretty goofy and fun.

My Best Friend is a Vampire

Watched March 2, 2014

1987
Starring: Robert Sean Leonard, Cheryl Pollack, Evan Mirand, Rene Auberjonois, David Warner, Paul Willson

Jeremy (Robert Sean Leonard) is your average horny teenage dude. He has two crushes, blond cheerleader Candy (LeeAnne Locken) and brainy band member Darla (Cheryl Pollack.) He has sex dreams about both of them. He works as a grocery delivery boy and one of his new clients is a sexy older woman who aggressively hits on him. He wimps out while he's on the job but heads over to her house later that night at the prodding of his best friend Ralph (Evan Mirand). Pretty quickly Jeremy is in the woman's bed and things are getting intense, she bites him but they're suddenly interrupted by Professor McCarthy (David Warner) and Grimdyke (Paul Willson). They attack the woman, while Jeremy runs out clad in nothing but a sheet. Ralph and Jeremy drive off as the woman's house bursts into flames.

It turns out that the woman was a vampire and now Jeremy is infected, but he doesn't know that. He feels kinda strange but he still can go out in the sunlight. Prof. McCarthy and his lackey Grimdyke are vampire hunters and they felt it was their job to kill the lady vampire. They saw Jeremy and Ralph escape so they have someone new to track down and destroy. They think that Ralph is the new vampire so they begin following him.

Jeremy has his own stalker, a strange man who pops up randomly. Jeremy doesn't know what exactly is happening to him. He has lost his appetite but it strongly attracted to raw meat but can't bring himself to eat it. Jeremy finds some courage to finally ask out Darla. They go on a pizza date but he unknowingly orders garlic on their pie and Jeremy can't eat it. It's their first date but things go well so they end up at make out point. The only problem is that while kissing Jeremy discovers his fangs. He freaks out, kicks Darla out of the car and drives off. He has no clue what is happening to himself.

The strange man finally introduces himself to Jeremy as Modoc (Rene Auberjonois) a living vampire. He gives Jeremy, who he explains is also a living vampire, a handbook on how to be a vampire. It takes a bit but Jeremy gets into it and stocks his mini-fridge with pig's blood in beer cans. Jeremy even feels like he can make up the terrible date with Darla.

Lots of goofy hijinks ensue as Ralph tries to get away from Prof. McCarthy. In the end, Jeremy lures them into a graveyard where a bunch of vampire babes seduce him. The original lady vampire shows up again, I guess she wasn't killed after all. Being a teenage living vampire isn't so bad after all.

This movie is great, a nice teen horror/comedy. I had seen it before but I was recently gifted a VHS copy and I'm happy to have it in my collection. For some reason I though Twilight was the only movie to make vampires that can go out in the sunlight, but this movie uses that same conceit but actually explains it somewhat logically and makes it fun. No stupid sparkles here. Darla wears some of the strangest outfits I've seen in awhile, it seems like her whole goal is to look like a giant sack. She just piles layers and layers on then tops it off with giant hats.

Joysticks

Watched April 21, 2013

1983
Starring: Leif Green, Jim Greenleaf, Scott McGinnis, Jon Gries, Corinne Bohrer.

Nerdy Eugene (Leif Green) has just gotten a job at the arcade working the snack counter. All the teens in town love hanging out in the arcade, partially because of all the great games and partially because it's managed by young, hot Jefferson (Scott McGinnis).  Patsy (Corinne Bohrer) is a perfect young valley girl who loves the arcade, but her dad Mr. Rutter (Joe Don Baker) thinks it's a den of filth and sex. Mr. Rutter is trying to shut down the arcade with the help of his two nitwit assistants. It comes down to a city council meeting to figure out if they can shut down the arcade. So many of the teens really love it and they don't have any other place to hang out. The city council doesn't really do anything but Jefferson challenges Mr. Rutter to a video game. If Mr. Rutter wins, Jefferson will shut down the arcade but if Jefferson wins they'll keep it open. Mr. Rutter can have anyone play for him and he chooses King Vidiot. King Vidiot (Jon Gries) is an awesome punk who's obsessed with the arcade. He doesn't want it shut down, but Mr. Rutter promises him and his female posse mini-motorbikes and he just can't say no.

Jefferson hasn't been able to play any video games since he lost his virginity with his girlfriend and her dad walked in on them. His girlfriend was forced to move away and he whenever he looks at a video screen he sees the dad's angry face. McDorfus (Jim Greenleaf) is a fat slob who is always at the arcade and is the best player around. He is chosen by Jefferson to take his place during the challenge. Mr. Rutter's henchmen learn this and kidnap McDorfus so Jefferson is forced to play during the big showdown. Jefferson rises to the challenge and starts out strong but towards the end King Vidiot is winning. At the last minute, McDorfus frees himself and shows up to win the big battle of Super Pac Man.  The arcade is saved and all the teens rejoice.

 I love valley girls so Patsy was great for me, every word out of her mouth was fantastic.  This movie falls firmly into the T&A teen sex comedies of the 1980's but with the added bonus of video games. You get to see boobs right away and continually throughout the movie. No one actually has sex, but there is a working hot tub inside a van. The soundtrack is alright but I wish they would have used some of the Bruckner and Garcia video game songs, they wrote Pac Man Fever and many others.  The DVD that I watched was still pretty poor quality with the lighting being really dark most of the time. I did enjoy it but I think if I had seen it when I was a teen I would have loved it.