My Demon Lover

Watched July 28, 2014

1987
Starring: Scott Valentine, Michelle Little, Gina Gallego, Robert Trebor

We were all a little wary when this made its way to the front of the queue, as the demon based romantic comedy is hard to pull off. But I figured that a guy that turns into a demon whenever he is turned on has got to be at least a little fun.

We first meet Kaz (Scott Valentine) as he is busking in a New York subway car playing his saxophone terribly. He looks as sounds crazy so everyone is trying to get away from him. He gets near a busty lady and transforms into his demon version.

Denny (Michelle Little) is walking home from grocery shopping when she sees a bunch of guys putting her TV and blender into their van. It turns out that her boyfriend is stealing all her stuff, he tells her off and steps on her pie before driving away. Denny's friend Sonia (Gina Gallego) comes over to comfort her and it is established that Denny has a history of dating deadbeat guys. Denny wants to change this pattern. While eating at a local health food cafe, Kaz jumps out of a pile of trash bags and tries to eat Denny's burger. She takes pity on him and lets him take a bite of her burger, but he spits it out onto her skirt, because it's not meat it's a veggie and fruit burger. Denny takes of for her apartment, but Kaz follows her. She is really trying to stick to her plan of not dating any more losers, but something about Kaz just gets to her. Maybe it's how dirty and crazy he is. He tells her he doesn't have a place to stay so she allows him to sleep on her couch.

The next day they make a pact to be friends and there is a montage of them doing all sorts of friend activities around New York. It doesn't take Denny that long to want to go further with their friendship, but while making out Kaz reveals his demon self. He tells her the story of when he was a teenager he was making out with a Gypsy's daughter, when the gypsy walked in and cursed him. She cursed him with a petrotsky demon. That means whenever he is aroused it opens the gate for a demon to take him over, so he can't really enjoy sex.

Meanwhile there is a maniac that keeps attacking women in the street. It seems like it might be Kaz when he takes his demon form, since he doesn't always remember what he did as a demon. Sonia runs an occult store and is a little psychic and she gets a vision that Kaz is the killer so she tries to take him out. Sonia happened to be coming from a singles bar where so often goes, while running out she grabs Phil, the local loser who can't seem to get a date. It is quickly revealed that Phil is the killer that has been attacking ladies, he grabs Denny and takes her to Belvedere Castle in Central Park. He needs to kill her to reveal his demon, or something like that. Kaz is fast on the trail, but the castle is barricaded. Sonia makes out with Kaz to reveal a demon that has tiny wings so he can save Denny. Kaz and Phil have a big fight over the castle, ultimately Phil is destroyed and Kaz takes a hit that rids him of his demons. Denny and Kaz head back to her apartment to have some demon free sex.

"Let's go take a shower, Fruit Burger" is what Kaz says to Denny once he is rid of his demons.

Denny wears some great late '80s outfits but my favorite by far was pink tights, yellow socks, sneakers, mini skirt black with bright fish, bone earrings, shirt/jacket with Scottie dogs and a fire hydrant. When Kaz turns into a demon in front of Denny and changes, she fights those demons. One of them is a old lady, when Denny punches her in the face the old demons head explodes with mustard goo. I really liked that when Kaz's condition was explained to a new person, they instantly said "oh a petrotsky demon," like it was a totally common thing. Horror comedy rarely works for me, but this was pretty goofy and fun.

Alien Intruder

Watched July 21, 2014

1993
Starring: Maxwell Caulfield, Billy Dee Williams, Tracy Scoggins.

The action kicks off right away with a laser gun fight on a space ship. Every man is for himself as there doesn't seem to be a right or wrong side. The main guy destroys the controls of the ship, then a mysterious raven haired woman appears which prompts the guy to commit suicide.

Jump to a maximum security prison, where Nick (Maxwell Caulfield) is incarcerated. Commander Skyler (Billy Dee Williams) is assembling a crew of promising inmates to be the crew on a mission to recover the ship from the first scene. He doesn't tell them this, instead he just tells them if the mission goes well they'll be rewarded with their freedom. Before they head out they all choose a virtual reality story to experience during their off time, by story I mean sexy lady.

They are headed for the mysterious sector G, Commander Skyler doesn't give them much information, he just wants them to keep the ship headed there. It doesn't matter much because they spent most of their time in their virtual reality scenarios.  Nick's fantasy involves him working out on an empty beach, once he goes to the beach house a naked lady waits for him, but he is distracted from that naked lady by a raven haired dream intruder, but she's super hot. Another member of the crew in in a Casablanca type black and white fantasy, where he is running a club, the singer of his club is the same raven haired lady, except she is in a terrible blond wig. The third crew member's VR fantasy is that he is a 1950s biker and he runs into the same lady at a gas station. The last fantasy is in the 1880s wild west, his woman is shot by the raven haired lady, she must be some sort of Alien intruder. Commander Skyler sees the woman, who he calls Ariel in his computer screen, and she is the force that is guiding him to sector G.

Pieces of their fantasies begin to appear during their waking lives. The Casablanca fantasy guy hears the song that the woman was singing as his dream club in the ship and freaks out. They make into sector G and find the ship that the first action scene took place on. I'm not sure if they're there to recover anything as they discover that everyone is dead. Ariel appears and pits all the men against each other, recreating the same scene from the beginning. But Nick is stronger than that, he doesn't want to bend to her will. After escaping in a little ship, he thinks he safe, but Ariel is there with him as the Alien Intruder.

This movie barely makes sense but it was still a lot of fun. It kicks of with a laser gun fight right away which is great. All the VR fantasy scenes are pretty silly but enjoyable. It's amazing how entertained I was without much information about why they were heading to sector G or why sector G was dangerous in the first place. I also don't know what the alien Ariel wants, is it just to kill everybody through seduction? There is plenty of T&A in this movie and it easily could have drifted into erotica territory but they keep it movie with the real laser action.

Relentless

Watched July 14, 2014

1989
Starring: Leo Rossi, Robert Loggia, Judd Nelson, Meg Foster.

New York police officer Sam Dietz (Leo Rossi) has just gotten a promotion to detective but it comes with relocating to Los Angeles. At his new station, he is partnered with old pro Bill Malloy ( Robert Loggia) and their first case is investigating a man who was murdered in his bathroom. 

At the same time Buck Taylor (Judd Nelson) just got a letter from the police department that he failed the psychological part of his application to join the force. He is obviously maladjusted so this is just the thing that pushes him over the edge. He grabs the phone book, picks a number and decides to murder that person. 

Sam jumps in to trying to figure out who killed the guy in the shower, but his partner is reigning him in a bit. Buck continues to pick random people out of the phone book to murder. He is very careful about his kills, wearing gloves and leaving minimal evidence. But he does leave a note written on the page of the phone book that he used to find his victim. 

Buck has flashbacks to his childhood, it turns out that his father was a well respected cop. It also turns out that his dad was a total nutjob who abused Buck and trained him to be a police officer from the age of 5. What was when he taught him to shoot a gun and was disappointed that his wasn't an instant marksman. He also would make Buck do obstacle courses while shooting at him, so there is no surprise that Buck turned into a serial killer.

Sam puts several people to work doing file searches to find clues to who the murder could be, all the while Buck keeps killing. It turns out that the first man who was killed came into the police station to report a death threat call, but the cops didn't do anything about it. Sam keeps putting the clues together and figures out that Buck is the main suspect, but this as Buck finds Sam's wife and kid and takes them hostage. Sam shoots Buck multiple times and that ends the serial killings.

Judd Nelson is pretty creepy as a serial killer, but this movie is just pretty standard. Meg Foster plays Sam's wife and she has the craziest see through eyes, it is destracting from her fine performance as a concerned wife. Judd Nelson also wears these pretty crazy '50s outfits that in 1989 were probably terrible but are pretty hip today. His murder outfit is super crazy though,  an all black outfit of mock turtleneck with cut off cuffs and waistband and high waisted jeans.

The Devil's Daughter

Watched July 7, 2014

1991
Starring: Kelly Curtis, Herbert Lom, Michel Adatte

This movie's Italian title is La setta or The Sect which makes a lot more sense because it's about a sect of devil worshippers; the devil's daughter isn't involved in any way that I comprehended.

South California 1970
A bunch of hippies are hanging out in the desert. A Jesus like figure comes out of nowhere and tells them his name is Damon (Tomas Arana). They invite him to share their meal with them and he acts like a total weirdo. Once the hippies all fall asleep, Damon summons his motorcycle buddies and they murder everyone.

Frankfurt 1991
A woman is walking home, she runs into a family man and she is suddenly scared for her life. Once she gets to the safety of her home, he's there and he rips out her heart. On the subway, a pickpocket tries to to steal the necklace that is the murder's pocket but it's tangled up in the heart. The police catch him and he commits suicide with their gun.

Meanwhile, a very old man gets the special sign that something is going to happen. He frees his caged bird, drops his keys in the river and boards a bus carrying only a weird box.  The bus stops to take a break and everyone gets off the bus. The old man Moebius (Herbert Lom) wanders into the street just as Miriam (Kelly Curtis) almost runs him over with her car. Luckily she didn't hit him but she feels really guilty so she takes him home to her moldy shack so he can rest. She has an adorable white rabbit who hops around her apartment. As they sleep the old man creeps into her room and puts a bug up her nose. When she wakes up, checks on Moebius and he looks as if he's had a stroke. She goes to get her doctor friend but instead finds another doctor Frank (Michel Adatte) who comes with her to help Moebius. Once they get back to the house Moebius is dead and the place is a mess. The coroner takes Moebius away. Miriam is so confused to what is happening. Instead of going back to bed she follows her rabbit into the basement that she didn't know existed. It leads into a bigger room that is a huge well room. Before Moebius died he threw a mysterious bag into the water supply. 

Miriam begins to have strange visions. She works at an elementary school and she has a weird run in where she thought she saw a parent but when the child was actually supposed to be picked up the parents was gone. When she took the little girl home she saw that the mother did large illustrations of the bug that was put up her nose. 

Finally all her visions come true as the sect bring Moebius back to life by giving him a new face. The bug laid eggs in Miriams neck and their stork god rapes her while it eats the bugs from her neck. She quickly gives birth in the well in her basement to a normal looking baby. The sect gives her the choice to raise the baby if she wants to. She is unsure but at the last minute decides to raise the baby. She takes her baby and runs into a burning car and they are both burned. Firefighters come and hose off everything and it looks as if there is now way that Miriam survived. The firefighters hose off all the ash and Miriam is still alive but her baby is dead. She sees a stork fly by and thanks if for saving her but it's unknown if it was her baby or the stork creature that saved her.

There is a strong Rosemary's baby vibe in this one since Miriam is kept in the dark about why the sect has been keeping any eye on her since she was born. I'm not sure why she's the chosen one but I'm pretty into her decision at the end. There is a lot of weird imagery with the bug going up her nose and the contaminated water. When the satanist rip off the face of  the lady to give life back to Moebius it's pretty crazy. Another weird case of dubbing in that they the words line up but it still seems like they redid it, but it is an Italian production that takes place in Germany.  Written by Dario Argento it stands up to the weirdness that is expected of him.

Mindkiller

Watched June 23, 2014

1987
Starring: Joe McDonald, Wade Kelley, Shirley Ross, Kevin Hart

The only thing I could I remember from my first viewing of Mind Killer several years ago was Swingles, the super awesomely named singles bar. This was yet another VHS that I unloaded on Jen when I moved across the country and it came around again so we could decide whether it's a keeper or not. I also remember this movie being really poorly lit, but on a second watch I determined I first saw it when my TV was dying and was making every movie appear very dark.

Warren (Joe McDonald) works in the research materials section of a library located deep in the basement. He is obsessed with meeting women but has a hard time with it. He watched a movie entitled How to Pick up Women and tries to learn some time tested techniques. He takes his new moves to Swingles, his local singles bar. Warren's roommate Brad (Kevin Hart) is a more confident guy and has no problem taking home ladies of his choosing. This only make Warren more frustrated.

A new researcher, Sandy (Shirley Ross) is hired at the library and Warren is instantly in love. Unfortunately, Sandy has a policy of not dating co-workers. While pulling some old research papers Warren finds a very interesting case study of a man who developed telepathic powers. Warren stays up all night reading the paper and once finished feels like he has unlocked the power of his mind.  Warren can both manipulated machines and people. He seduces the women of his choice at Swingles, but he still longs for Sandy. He begins to manipulate Sandy and they go out together, but even with Warren's power Sandy knows that something is wrong. Warren invited Sandy over for dinner with Brad along as well. Even with his new found telepathic powers Warren is still really inept with social skills, but he has become a much better cook. Brad and Sandy really hit it off with genuine affection even though Warren is convinced that Sandy likes him. 

Warren's other co-worker Larry (Wade Kelley) reads the research paper and soon is using the powers himself, but he researches it further and finds out what happened to the author of the paper. It turns out that the paper was written by a local scientist who used to live with his mother. His mother is still in the area so Larry goes to talk to her. She has gone crazy because she saw what the power did to her son and how it ultimately killer her son. Larry tries to get to Warren to tell him the danger of using the power but it's too late. The power has already mutated Warren's brain and turned him into a monster. Monster Warren only wants Sandy for himself so he tries to kill her, luckily Larry has it figured out and saves the day.

The brain monster effects are pretty cool and gross. Warren is definitely an unattractive and awkward guy so I could see him using his power for evil and letting it get the best of him. Larry uses his power to seduce a woman by listening to coyote howls. His fascination with coyotes doesn't seem to play out or add to the plot. Better than I remember it but it's still pretty weird. Swingles stands up to the test of time as a cool place to meet people, just be careful if you see a spilled glass right itself.